Burn, Baby, Burn!
The weirdest thing happened to me a few weeks ago. My upper lip got really dry, and no matter how much lip balm, lip gloss, or moisturizing lipstick I used it just got worse.
Huh?
After a few days of this I began to suspect Wes had finally given me herpes. He gets fever blisters, and they’re caused by one of the herpes viruses. Unfortunately, he always knows when he’s about to get one because his upper lip dries out.
Uh-oh.
We’ve tried really hard over the last 31 years to make sure I don’t catch this particular nasty from him. But this seems to be the year for him to give me yucky stuff (like the two UTIs from hell and the yeast infection), so I thought he’d done it again. But no blisters formed, so I was clueless.
Then a few days later burns appeared on my lower lip. Soon both of my lips were completely burned.
Huh?
The good news is this wasn’t herpes. Yay!
The bad news is it was some kind of new chemical or food allergy I had developed (yeah, I have several of those). To what, I had no idea. Obviously, I’d become allergic to a food or product I have always used that never bothered me before, but now it burns my lips. So I began the slow and painful process of eliminating different products from my daily routine to find the culprit.
Of course, by now my lips were red and puffy from the burns, which just kept getting worse. The crazy thing is they looked fantastic. No kidding. I swear my lips looked like I’d just had an expensive Botox job or something. And with the tons of lip gloss I was wearing to keep them moist, they looked soooooo sexy.
Too bad they hurt like hell. Oh, well….
Eventually, I discovered I’d developed an allergy to some of the chemicals in the inexpensive drugstore lip gloss and lipstick I’ve worn all my life.
Yikes!
At first I was afraid I was allergic to all lipstick. Horrors! I do love my bright pink lipstick and lip gloss, ya know? I mean, isn’t that a necessity of life? This slut thinks so.
Fortunately, that wasn’t the case. It seems the only lipstick that felt good on my lips was the one tube of expensive $20 department store lipstick I’d bought last month. Whew! Evidently, these naughty lips of mine are trying to tell me something. They feel they deserve only the very best now. Hey, nothing wrong with that! 
So I’m off to the mall this morning to buy more expensive "Wild Plum" lipstick by Estee Lauder. Love it!
Plus, now that’s it’s September, I need to stop by Waldenbooks and check out their 2010 calendars. Time to buy my annual hunky guy calendar for my office.
What will it be this year? Motorcycle dudes in black leather with long gorgeous hair? Cowboys? Special Forces guys? Surfers? The possibilities are endless, and you can bet I’ll enjoy every minute of this "search." Hey, a girl’s gotta have her eye-candy ya know?
Yummmmmmy! *licks my expensively naughty lips*
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on Tuesday, September 1st, 2009 at 6:36 am and is filed under Naughty Notes, Toys.
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