Can You Make My Wife Horny For Me???
Okay, you get lots of strange requests when people find out you’re a "real" Witch. Kinda goes with the territory. A few days before the wedding one of the Uber’s friends (Rich, another Uber and one of the readers of my blog) had said to him, "Ask that little Witch of yours if she can make my wife horny by the time I get home." That’s because he wasn’t staying in Charleston after the wedding reception, but was driving back to Greenville that night.
When the Uber and I got to the church I walked up to Rich and said, "So you want me to cast a spell on your wife to make her horny by the time you get home tonight?" He replied, "Well, yeah." Before I could answer, Gus (the father of the groom), turned to me, his eyes wide as buttons, and asked, "Can you do that?!!"
I replied, "No." The fact is I could, but that would be black magick, and I’m a White Witch, a Wiccan. To do that would be going against the Wiccan Rede, which states Do what you will, if it harms no one. Casting a spell on someone to make them do something would be going against that person’s will and considered "harm." Not a good thing.
Turns out when we got inside the church I ended up sitting on a pew between the two Ubers, my husband one side, and Rich on the other. Let me say right now my Uber HATES to wear a coat and tie. But this wedding was formal since it was after six, so he had no choice. Of course that didn’t stop him from throwing an Uber-fit aboutit. Anyway, we’d only been sitting there about ten minutes when he starts clawing at the tie around his neck and grumbling about how hot he is in the suit coat. I turn to Rich and say, "Don’t mind him. He’s just having an Uber-fit." Rich looks at my husband squirming on the pew and then back at me, and he says, "You torment him constantly, don’t you?" I smile sweetly and respond, "Of course I do. And I love every minute of it."
This reminds me of something I read in Parade Magazine this weekend. Did you see the article on American marriages? I was shocked to learn 25% of the people interviewed describe marital sex as "tolerable or terrible." Total bummer! Maybe they should buy a copy of the pickle book (Tickle His Pickle: Your Hands-On Guide to Penis Pleasing by Dr. Sadie Allison).
You know where I’m going with this, right? Yup, the Uber and I finally got a chance to give the pickle book a test drive last night. YOWEE, does it work!! Good stuff! I’ve added several of the pickle tips to my regular routine with astounding results, including info from the lube chapter (hint: the more lube the better). Last night I started off with the "Taint It Fine" technique and then finished up with the "Thank U" technique. All I can say is the Uber was a very happy camper and very generous with his gratitude. About eight orgasms worth for me. Double YOWEE! It’s no surprise I highly rec the pickle book now.
And, as you can imagine, I’m one happy sex kitten this morning. Purrrrrrrrrrrrrr…….
xoxo
Laura Stamps (c)
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
Laura Stamps (c)
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
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September 23rd, 2008 at 2:51 pm
LOL
I remember seeing that book in the store before and Hubby didn’t believe me that it was an actual book. Sounds like it’s got some useful info in there 
Glad you had a great weekend
Hope all is going well with you!!
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Thanks! Yeah, that pickle book is definitely a good one. I remember I mentioned it to Lynn (Kramer) last week in an email, and she said it seems silly but is really packed with tons of useful info. No kidding!
Okay, I’m off to write the September issue of my e-newsletter.
Happy Tuesday and much love to you!!
xoxo
Laura Stamps
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
September 23rd, 2008 at 6:12 pm
lol, are you sure you couldn’t market a potion for “Insta-sex” and sell it at Kaufman’s parfume aisle? It’d be a hit on Valentine’s Day! Heck, every man in the world would buy it daily.
September 23rd, 2008 at 6:26 pm
You crack me up!
Seriously, I know lots of Witches who aren’t Wiccans who have been doing spells like this for decades. One of my good friends is a Chaos magician, and since he has been a teenager he has been casting spells to make women think he is attractive and sexy. Yes, his sex life has always been active (grin).
And you’re right. The men would buy it daily! You know the perfume I wear (Realm for Women) is a human sex pheromone perfume and works verrrrrrrry well on the Uber. Well, guess what? They make “Realm for Men” too. Yup, it’s supposed to make your wife or girlfriend horny when she sniffs it on you. And if it works half as well as “Realm for Women” then it’s worth its weight in gold. So I guess you could say there is already an Insta-sex potion out there on the market. LOL
I’m smiling so big while I’m typing this my cheeks are starting to hurt. But you’ve got to love this kind of stuff, don’t you? It just makes life sooooooo much more fun!
xoxo
Laura Stamps
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
September 24th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
I think i will have to read the book jsut cause of its name
Love your blog !! Great idea for a wnedys frosty too !!
September 24th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Great to hear from you and I’m thrilled you are enjoying my blog!! Yeah, that book is priceless for sure. Read more about its “benefits” in my blog post today (naughty grin). Well worth buying…and I haven’t even mentioned it’s packed full of the most hysterically funny illustrations. You will laugh all the way through it. LOL
Thanks! I’m so glad you liked the my newsletter!! It’s always lots of fun to write each month. And just think….now you can “enjoy” a Wendy’s Frosty without all the extra calories. YOWZA! What could be better? *lusty smile*
xoxo
Laura Stamps
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
September 26th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Laura: It is interesting what I learn about you. I did not recall that about the Wiccan Rede. It is good to know the difference.
September 26th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
I just posted at GR in response to your comment in the Fav Erotica Novels thread about our other rule, “The Rule of Three.” You might find that one intersting too!
xoxo
Laura Stamps
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
September 26th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Oh ok. I’ll check those later on. I’ve been on here since about 8 am! How do you do it! I know your online or at the computer typing daily. It’s hard for me for very long. Thanks for posting the comment.
September 26th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
I know! I am online, working from 6:00am – 5:00pm six days a week and 3 hours on Sunday. It amazes me how much I am online, too!! LOL
xoxo
Laura Stamps
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)