Gotta Watch Out for an Exhibitionist Slut
On Friday I’m walking through the lingerie department at Dillard’s on my way to my car when two ladies jump me. I’d been to the bookstore and the shoe store and had stopped by the Estee Lauder counter at Dillard’s to chat with my friend Flori until she took her lunch break at 1:00.
One of the women is like 30-ish, and the other is 60-ish. As I walk by, the older woman dashes out and shoves a calendar at me. “I see you’ve already spent a bunch of money, hon,” she says, looking at my packages, “so here’s something for free.
Actually, I hadn’t spent a bunch of money. I’d used a Borders coupon to buy the book. And I’d bought the shoes on sale at a ridiculously low price. Did I tell you the heel almost fell off my fav pair of boots last week? I bought some Krazy Glue and glued it back on, but it’s still kinda wobbly, so I thought I should buy another pair of high-heeled boots just in case. I’d been looking around at several stores, but that day I found a gorgeous pair of John Romain boots marked down from $48.00 to $16.99. Yessssssss! So I snapped them up.
Okay, back to Dillard’s.
After the older woman tells me that, she hands me a Breast Cancer Awareness pocket calendar. “Now you can keep track of your monthly breast exams easier,” she adds.
Oh. This is a Breast Cancer promotion thingy. No wonder the red carpet is out, and pink balloons are flying everywhere.
“No, thanks,” I reply, politely. “I already have a 2010 calendar.” See what a good girl I can be? I didn’t even tell her my 2010 calendar is full of half-naked cowboys. ”Give this to someone who needs it,” I say, handing it back to her.
Undaunted, she picks up a plastic door-hanging thingy. “Then take this,” she says, shoving it at me. “You can hang this on your door when you’re doing a breast exam, so no one will come in on you when you’re not dressed.”
I smile wickedly. “But I’m an exhibitionist,” I purr. “I love for people to see me nude. That’s half the fun. And then the other half is….well, ya know.” I waggle my eyebrows at both ladies suggestively.
They freeze like deer caught in headlights, and their mouths drop open. Several seconds pass, and then the older woman starts to snicker. “You’re a wild one, aren’t you, missy?” she cackles, as the younger woman blushes intensely.
“Of course,” I reply. “I’m an erotica novelist.” I give her a slutty grin. “Sex is my life.” Then I drop the door-hanging thingy in one of my bags.
“You go, girl!” the older woman hoots, slapping my arm.
I can still hear them laughing as I sashay toward the exit and my car.
Yesterday, while we were at the grocery store, I told Wes about this. He just shook his head and chuckled.
“It could’ve been worse,” I purr. “I could’ve told them you do a thorough ‘exam’ on my breasts several times a week with your talented tongue, lips, and fingers.”
Now he’s laughing like crazy, and people at the grocery store are staring at us.
Hey, not my fault. Once an exhibitionist, always an exhibitionist, right? And, oh, how I love it! *kinky grin*
xoxo
Laura Stamps (c)
Author of Paranormal Erotica & Romance Novels
Check out my “Laura Stamps” Fan Page at Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/sexwitch
Follow me on Twitter at:
http://twitter.com/naughtypussycat
Laura Stamps (c)
Author of Paranormal Erotica & Romance Novels
Check out my “Laura Stamps” Fan Page at Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/sexwitch
Follow me on Twitter at:
http://twitter.com/naughtypussycat
Entries (RSS)
November 3rd, 2009 at 5:17 am
You go girl!!:)
November 4th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Thanks, Cheryl! I thought you might like this one. But you are gonna hoot over my post today about Wes on Probation. LMAO!!!
November 7th, 2009 at 5:29 am
Ha! I loved this one, great post Laura.
November 7th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Thanks, Kenjii! Have you been to Facebook today? This is my update for today:
"…I've got a booksigning today at Waldenbooks, Columbiana Center, Columbia, SC, from 1:00-4:00. I'm gonna look sooooo cute, too! I'm wearing a leopard-print silk cami with red lace over my breasts so my nipples show through. Then a short black "Wicked" t-shirt that shows my stomach. Of course, I'll be wearing low-riding jeans and high-heeled boots. Should be a blast. Come see me if you're in town!"
Once an exhibitionist, always an exhibtionist! LMAO!!!
November 7th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
You go Laura! I haven't had the Internet for the past week, so I'm catching up now! LMAO
November 8th, 2009 at 3:09 am
Thanks, Kenjii, I'm glad you enjoyed it!! Got some exhibitionism in today at my booksigning. But you knew I would.
November 8th, 2009 at 3:10 am
Great to hear from you!! I wondered what happened to you.
November 8th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
I'm back now and that's all that matters! Thanks for thinking of me, though, Laura!
I feel so special!
November 17th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Your local fans are so fortunate! I bet they snap pics like crazy! Its great you spend so much time at signing and show off your best buys :*
November 17th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
Kenjii, don't you know it, girlfriend! And I had a blast at that booksigning. My leopard print cami and my nipples were a hit. Oh, how I love it! I was in such a party mood I had to keep reminding myself that I was supposed to be working. LMAO!!!