How to Fuck 25 Women
When Wes came home last Wednesday night, I was eating dinner.
"I’ve got a surprise for you," I say, as he walks into the dining room.
"Oh, no," he groans.
Why does he always assume this is a bad thing? *wicked grin*
"No, you’ll like this," I reply, grinning from ear to ear. "I paid a teenager to cut the grass today."
"Wow, that is a good surprise!" he exclaims, smiling with delight.
"You know what this means, right?" I continue. "You don’t have to cut the grass on Sunday, which means you’ll have plenty of energy for fucking me on our sex date."
"Oh, we’ll have to cancel that," he says, trying to look serious. Not.
"No way!" I exclaim, going along with whatever he’s trying to pull.
"Sorry" he replies, throwing up his hands. "No sex date. I used up all the Viagra."
"You did not," I argue.
"I did," he says, grinning like crazy. "I fucked 25 women today."
I almost fall out of my chair laughing. "You did not!" The man is just too much, ya know? "The Viagra is still in the kitchen where I left it."
"Sorry," he repeats, shrugging. "Those are empty bottles. I’ve been carrying the Viagra around in my car, and I used it all up today."
I’m gonna get indigestion if I keep laughing this hard. "I know you. You only fuck pretty women. Are you telling me you found 25 pretty women to fuck today?"
"Well, only 5 or 6 were pretty," he explains. "The rest were desperate."
That’s it. I can’t stop laughing now. No way I can eat while I’m laughing this hard.
"Too bad!" I yell, as he walks up the stairs. "Viagra or not, I’m fucking your brains out on Sunday. Deal with it!"
Now you know. I didn’t just marry a gorgeous guy who’s a sex god in bed. I also married a comedian. And a delusional one at that. Like he can talk this oversexed slut out of a hot sex date.
Not!
xoxo
Laura Stamps (c)
Author of Erotica and Paranormal Romance Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (excerpts from all of my novels)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
Laura Stamps (c)
Author of Erotica and Paranormal Romance Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (excerpts from all of my novels)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
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