My Up*coming Birthday. Yummy!
As many of you know, tomorrow is my birthday. I’ll be 53. Yikes! Hard to believe, since I swear I’m not a day over 18, right? *delusional grin*
As a matter of fact, a few weeks ago when I told my account (who is also 53) that I always feel and act like I’m 18, he looked at Wes and said, “You have my sympathy.”
Wes just nodded. Poor guy. I am his cross to bear. lmao!!
Amazingly, this year (for some unknown reason) I’ve been getting online cards and gifts for two weeks now. Seriously. People I don’t even know are sending me b-day gifts and online cards early cause they don’t wanna miss my b-day.
How cool is that? Damn, I LOVE you guys!!
And on Monday I started receiving paper cards in the mail. Thanks, everyone! I totally feel the love!!
So when Wes came home Monday night I gathered up my pile of paper cards and took them into the bedroom to show him. But when I got to the half naked cowboy sprawled seductively on bales of hay, he frowned.
“Who sent you this one?” he asks, taking it from me and opening it up.
“Melody Prater,” I reply. “She’s one of my super sweet fans from Georgia.” I waggle my eyebrows. “Dontcha love that card? It’s sooooooo me.”
Wes just snorts.
“Hey,” I protest, taking the card from him. “You know how it is. Every birthday and Christmas I get lots of cards with hunky guys on them from my girlfriends and fans.”
And, oh, how love them!! *lusty grin*
“Yeah,” he agrees, walking toward his desk. “You hang them up all over your office.”
“Of course,” I tease. “Girl’s gotta have her eye-candy, ya know?”
“Well, I don’t like the card I got you, so you can open it now,” he says, rummaging through his desk.
Huh? It’s only Monday, and my birthday is Friday. Wes has NEVER given me a card five days early. And I’ve known him for 32 years.
“What?” I ask, as he pulls out his card. “You want me to open it now?”
Yeah,” he says. “I don’t like it.”
Huh?
“Why did you buy me a card you don’t like?” I ask. Okay, I’m clueless. “You never do that.”
“Just open it,” he insists, shoving it at me. “You’ll see.”
I open the card, and guess what? It’s the half naked cowboy sprawled on hay bales. The exact same card Melody gave me.
“OMG!” I scream. I open it, and a Visa gift card falls out. He gave me his card and gift five days early. He never does that.
“See?’ he says. “It’s the same card. What’s the chance of that happening?”
“Zip,” I respond, “since this is the first hunky guy card you’ve ever given me.”
But who cares? I think it is totally cool he did this. Damn, do you think after 32 years he finally “gets” me?
“I love this card!” I squeal, grabbing him in a tight hug. “I can’t believe you got me a hunky guy card. It’s so ME!”
“Exactly,” he replies.
“But that’s what makes it so wonderful! Why did you do it?”
“I was looking for a cat card like I always get you, but I couldn’t find one I liked. Then I saw this one, and I know how much you like that cowboy calendar hanging in your office, so I got it for you.”
“You are the best husband in the whole world!” I squeal again. “I love that you gave me this card!”
Wes grins warily, eyeing me like I might need serious meds.
“Of course,” I continue. “You know what this means, right?”
Wes grimaces. “I’m afraid to ask.”
“Since you gave me my card and gift so early you’ll have to give me something else on my birthday.” I grin wickedly.
“Like what?”
“Like this!” I exclaim and dive for his dick.
“Oh, no, you don’t!” he shouts, dodging my hand and giggling.
“Why not?” I tease. “I’ve got Astroglide and plenty of condoms.” I purr. “I LOVE condoms.”
Wes looks at me like I’ve really lost it now. “You do?”
“Sure,” I continue. “I love buying them, too. Ya know, piling up condoms and lube on the counter at CVS.”
Wes just shakes his head. “Why?”
“Cause it’s naughty. Cause I’m gonna be 53, and I go through packages of condoms and lube like some people go through bags of potato chips.”
Wes rolls his eyes. “You’re a silly girl.”
But I don’t give him a chance to say more, because I dive for his dick again. He yelps and dodges me. Then he scurries out of the bedroom, while I chase him all the way down the hall before I let him go.
Oh, well. My birthday is tomorrow, and the man knows what I want. I mean, it’s not like he can run from me forever, can he? *sex-obsessed grin*
xoxo
Laura Stamps ©
The Magickal SexWitch
Author of Paranormal Erotica & Romance Novels
(Witches, Shapeshifters, Vampires)
laura@laurastamps.com
For HOT vampire erotica go here:
http://www.avampskiss.blogspot.com
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http://www.LauraStamps.com
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Entries (RSS)
April 1st, 2010 at 1:53 pm
You go girl – get what you want on your birthday! I think Wes is the best. How may guys would give their wife a card with a half naked guy on it??? Happy Birthday and don't do anything that will get you arrested… Or at least don't get caught!
April 1st, 2010 at 9:56 am
Well so glad you loved the card! I have always said i like Wes, he has great taste. Have a great Birthday, but dont kill Wes with all the sex. Is he going to dress up as your cowboy?
As they say save a horse, ride a cowboy!!! lol
April 1st, 2010 at 8:28 pm
I did…I loved it!!!
Oh, yeah. Ride 'em, cowgirl!!!
April 1st, 2010 at 10:11 pm
I cannot believe Wes! He actually purchased that card and wasn't embarrassed about it! Look how much he loves you girl! Happy Birthday–hope you get what you really want!:O
April 2nd, 2010 at 12:44 am
Way to go Wes! That shows your a man thats secure in his own manhood!
Happy early birthday naughty witch Oh and Happy belated Ostara too!! Love ya!
April 2nd, 2010 at 1:15 am
And he was doing so well too! Until tonight. I think he forgot he told me we would go out to dinner to celebrate my birthday tonight since he golfs on Fridays and would be late. So when he was an hour late I texted him and he scurried home, acting as if he meant to be late all the time, when actually he had forgotten and was just having too much fun with his buds at the bar.
April 2nd, 2010 at 1:16 am
(had to split this comment in two)
Still, we had a nice dinner. I even ordered apple pie for dessert and the server lit a pink candle and put it in the middle of the ice cream, so I could make a wish and blow it out. Big fun! Everything was great until we finished. Wes is always in a hurry. He likes to eat and then get up ASAP and leave. He always gets really irritated he can't do that and has to wait for the server. When the server came he talked to me for a few minutes about my birthday. Wes got pissed and got up and walked out of the restaurant. He said if I hadn't scurried after him he would have driven away and left me because he was so mad at me for being chatty.
LOL!!! So he is in the doghouse with me again for acting like an Alpha asshole. I asked him if this is a monthly thing with him in 2010 cause he has been in that same doghouse once every month this year. He said it seems it is a trend. lmao!!
April 2nd, 2010 at 1:17 am
Thanks, gf!!! Happy Ostara to you too!! Hey, you're gonna love that vamp novel. I just got the PayPal notification. Enjoy!!! Hot, hot. hot!!!
April 1st, 2010 at 8:28 pm
Hey, Vixhen, awesome to see you here!! Thanks for the bday wishes!!
You are so right, gf. As an exhibitionist, I push the envelope all the time. The trick is to be seen not caught. So far so good!! lol
April 2nd, 2010 at 1:53 am
Oops. Just read about Wes screwing up again. Mr. Impatient. LOL. I'm glad you can find humor in it at times. I just read volumes 1 and 2 and Oh my Goddess they were super hot! Dray is wicked hot and so is Sara. Gotta love a slutty witch! LMAO. It's been so long since I've read the Witchery Series, it's good to be back in the novel world of Laura Stamps!
April 2nd, 2010 at 2:11 am
I'm so glad you enjoyed them! LOVE the chemistry between Dray and Sara. Dray is sooooooo sexy, and Sara is….well….me! lmao! It has been a really fun challenge creating a sex-obsessed character who is a clone of me. Yeah, this is a wicked hot novel!!
April 3rd, 2010 at 10:01 pm
Happy Be-lated Birthday Laura…. Hope you got that second present from Wes… …. slip sliding with Astroglide…. *giggles*
April 5th, 2010 at 6:15 pm
Happy Ostara, Laura! Hope you had a wickedly fun birthday as well! I know I did! hehehehe….
April 13th, 2010 at 9:02 pm
OMG! Happy belated birthday, Laura! For some reason, the last four weeks, I haven't been getting your blog posts in my inbox. But I got today's and had to go back. I'm super sorry I missed your birthday. Wes deserves a big kiss for the early b-day present, but a kick in the ass for the rotten treatment at the restaurant.
April 13th, 2010 at 10:56 pm
Thanks, Gina!! That is entirely my fault. I'm sorry!! What happened is I had about 500 people on my email list who have not been opening my emails, and my list had gotten so big iContact was gonna start charging me an overage fee. I tried every way I could think of to get these people to opt out, but they wouldn't. So I had to go in manually and delete them. in the process I deleted about 75 people who do open my emails like you. Rats! So I spent all day Sunday and Monday working on my list, using the tracking at iContact to find those 75 people and add them back in. Now the 500 are gone and most of the people on my list open my emails. Yay! I'm thrilled to have you back on again, girlfriend!!!