Oh God, Laura, Stop Tormenting Me!!
First, the good news. I was fooling around with my LJ account yesterday and figured out how to fix it so my readers who are not LJ members can make comments on this blog. Yay! Okay, I’m no techno geek, meaning I figure these things out very slooooowly (grin). Do this for me. If you read this blog all the time but you aren’t an LJ member and you’ve never been able to comment, make a comment to this post and let’s see if it shows up. If it doesn’t, send me an email at laurastamps@mindspring.com and I’ll fool around with the settings some more.
Now for the bad news. My sex life is on hold this week. I know….HORRORS!! Well, it’s ragweed season in South Carolina, and my Uber is terrible allergic to it. He came down with an allergy attack on Sunday (sore throat, etc.), and now he has a drippy nose. I’m stuffing him full of Chinese herbs that should knock it out in a few days (if he takes them regularly…Ubers are not very good about that). Anyway, it looks like by the time he recovers I will have gone without sex for 10 days. I know….HORRORS!!!
Anyway, yesterday, when he was leaving for work and sniffling, I caught him at the bottom of the stairs and gave him a hug. I like to stand on the bottom stair and hug him because it’s the only time I’m as tall as he is (yeah, I get my thrills wherever I can). Dear Goddess, it felt so good to hold him I couldn’t let go! Before I knew it, I was rubbing on him like a cat in heat. He pushed back and told me I can’t do that because he’ll get snotall over me. True.
So I mentioned how hard this has been on my oversexed libido, and that I’ve been trying to be good about it, but it’s been difficult. He took pity on me and hugged me again. Fortunately, I get orgasms all the time in my sleep (talk about a great way to get zapped awake in the middle of the night!! *naughty grin*). I had one of those the night before. But I told him I needed more. I need him, and I can’t have him this week. He gave me one of those Uber looks like "there’s something definitely wrong with you." Well, who doesn’t know that? I’m HORNY!! So I said, "Hey, don’t you think about sex all the time?" He looked at me like I should be taking serious meds and replied, "Of course I do, I’m a guy."
Still, I’m thinking something’s not right here. Then I asked, "If you think about sex all the time, what do you think about?" His face went totally blank like I just started speaking ancient Aztec. So I continued, "Okay, I think about sex every 60 seconds just like a guy. But when I think about it, I think, OH, YEAH…GOTTA HAVE SOME!!!" He started laughing. Then I asked, "Is that what you think about?" He gave me a pained look, sniffled again, and said, "Oh God, Laura, stop tormenting me!!"
Then he gave me another hug and laid his head on my shoulder in defeat. I kissed the back of his neck, figuring there wouldn’t be any snot back there yet. And I smiled. Know why? Because when he said that I could see all the pent-up longing and lust he’s been having to deal with, too, while his nose runs like a faucet. After all, when it comes to sex it’s all about me (as far as I’m concerned), and I have no intention of suffering alone this week. So I feel better now that my misery has company. Of course, it doesn’t help a lot, because I’m still HORNY as a wild rabbit. But, hey, I’m not alone, right? *wicked grin*
xoxo
Laura Stamps (c)
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com
Laura Stamps (c)
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com
(my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
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August 30th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Your poor hubby! With the frequent sex, he’s probably about to explode from not getting any lately! 10 days, huh? I didn’t think you could go that long
Well, hopefully your hubby will be feeling better soon
I always hate it when my guy is under the weather…usually though he’s not too under the weather for some special treatment for him!! So, I usually take advantage of enjoying the dangly bits and I know when he’s better I will get lots of attention!!
Hope your hubby is better soon and back to your regularly scheduled programming!!
Have a great weekend!!
August 30th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Yeah, I didn’t think I could go that long either. He just left for the golf course (lots of sweating is a very good thing for getting rid of this thing). When he hugged me he was lamenting about how HARD this has been for both of us.
Believe me, I have thought about his dangly part A LOT. But I know how I am, and if I pay special attention to that part of him it is going to make me even worse. Trust me. I don’t know if I have mentioned this before, but I am one of those women who worships at “The Altar of the Co*k,” meaning doing that kind of thing will make me INSANELY HORNY. So I have to be satisfied with hugs from him for now.
But the minute he’s well enough you can bet we’ll be going at it like wild bunnies for sure. *wicked grin*
xoxo
Laura Stamps
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
August 30th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
There must be something going around. We have had the same problem here … Fortunately he’s on the mend!
August 30th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Hi, Stephanie (big wave!)–
Good for you…carnal relief at last, right? Wow, can’t beat it!!
xoxo
Laura Stamps
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
August 30th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
Well, I have the hardest time going that long without sex. Oh my god, when Barret had to have hernia surgery at the beginning of the year, I nearly died. And I’m pretty sure we still had sex waaaay too soon for him.
And as for yesterday, I remedied that situation when I got home.
First, I got him into bed, and then as I was doing very naughty things to him, I told him if he was a good boy and home fairly early from his time out with friends, then I would do ALL of his favorite things to him when he got home. For every half hour he was late, I’d eliminate one of his favorite things from my “to do” list.
It worked like a charm. But I do have a question, does your husband have a hard time getting along with people sometimes? Barret seems to have a very hard time getting along with people. He’s one of those people you have to get used to, and a lot of people won’t stick around to see what he’s really like. Therefore he doesn’t seem to make a lot of new friends. Is that a problem for your Uber too?
August 30th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Wa stop tormenting me!!!! I am on a total flat out no penetration diet until the surgery. Which at this rate might not happen until the end of the year.
Between surgeon going on leave, and messed up tests and a new doctor thinking it might be better if I wait until my regular doctor comes back. I think I am going to go insane.
August 31st, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Ha! My Uber is verrrry Uber and dislikes just about everyone. But get this. He’s a salesman, which means he sells to people all day long. I kid you not. However he does very well because the people he sells to have known him for years. He says he has to grow on people like “tree moss.” Very true (grin).
My Uber has lots of acquaintances (his only prerequisite being they play golf). But his closest friends are those he has known for 30 years or so. Nope, no new friends for my Uber in several decades.
And even though he is handsome, when he walks into a bar women flee. It’s his “don’t tread on me” Uber attitude. You’ll notice that if you ever meet him at one of my booksignings. He is charming, but doesn’t say much, and you can always hear a constant growl coming out of him. Cracks me up!
xoxo
Laura Stamps
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
August 31st, 2008 at 5:03 pm
HORRORS!!!! The end of the year is MONTHS away!!! Bless your heart. I would definitely go insane. No doubt about it!
xoxo
Laura Stamps
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
August 31st, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Oh my god! I got a little chill, because that sounds EXACTLY like Barret!! Everything you said, from the growing on people, to women in bars. His closest friends are people he’s known his whole life and me (because the sex was too good, it was worth the crappy attitude from time to time, ha ha!)
Wow, well at least I know Barret’s not the only one! Even that constant growl thing. Barret can be charming when he wants, but he does love to growl. Ha ha!
August 31st, 2008 at 9:42 pm
LOL…I worship at the same place myself!! I usually get way too horny to just do that, but sometimes I just tell myself, he deserves a special treat every once in a while! In fact, he boasts that he gets more of that than any of his friends do. (I think he gets more sex than his friends too!) It’s demanding work to keep up with my servicing program
But it sure is fun 
Hope your hubby is on the mend soon, so he can get back to your regular servicing