The Missing Testosterone
I had quite a shock yesterday. Actually, more than one.
The Uber had an appointment yesterday morning with his doctor to hear the results of his testosterone test. I’ve mentioned before on this blog I suspect he’s a quart low on the stuff, because his libido has been sinking rapidly all year. And it’s a fact that testosterone levels start to drop in men after 40. Well, that was 16 years ago for the Uber. Enough said, right?
Then he calls to tell me the doctor said his levels are normal, and he doesn’t need additional testosterone. Huh? That threw me, because he has all the symptoms of a low testosterone count. Thus, my first state of shock.
So I thought I would discuss it with the Uber when we went out to dinner last night. But when I began to express my concerns, he cut me off and shouted, "This is just another thing I’ve done wrong!!"
Huh? In case you don’t know any Ubers, let me give you a clue. They don’t believe in discussing ANYTHING. They like to be right about everything. All the time. End of discussion. Usually, this isn’t a problem for me. I’m perfectly happy letting the Uber think he’s right all the time about everything, because I don’t need to be right. I’m going to do what I’m going to do. Period. I don’t need anyone to agree with me about it. But I do wish he could have a rational discussion without lapsing into an Uber hissy fit every time. Oh, well. So I dropped it.
When we get home he gives me the lab results of his test. And there it is in black and white. Once again, I’m shocked. This time at his doctor. The normal range for testosterone spans from 1-586 points. Know what the Uber’s score was? 78. He’s so low in the range of normal he’s almost in the low range. Just like I thought. But because his doctor doesn’t believe in prescribing meds unless it’s an emergency, he told the Uber he was fine. Not!
When I mention these figures to the Uber this morning, he snaps, "Deal with it. End of conversation!"
Huh? Obviously, the man has no idea what he just said to me. I mean, the last thing he wants is to unleash an oversexed woman like me on the streets of Columbia, right? I need lots of sex, and he needs muuuuuuuuch less. This is not a good equation.
Too bad we can’t discuss this like mature adults. Bummer. Of course, that means I’m in the process of formulating a devious plan to fix this problem with the Uber. As always, he’ll never know what hit him. When I have all the details worked out, I’ll let you know. *wicked grin*
Stay tuned….
xoxo
Laura Stamps (c)
Author of Erotica and Paranormal Romance Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (excerpts from all of my novels)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
Laura Stamps (c)
Author of Erotica and Paranormal Romance Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (excerpts from all of my novels)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
Entries (RSS)
December 12th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Testosterone
Curious to see how you will sneak a ‘quart of testosterone’ into the Uber’s food or drink…LOL!
Good luck with your evil plan!:)
auntee
December 12th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Testosterone test
Oh dear, Laura, I can hear the wheels in your head spinning already…
December 12th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Re: Testosterone
Oh, yeah, I’m already at work on it. It’s like ARE YOU INSANE?! I always think that when he forgets I’m a Witch. *shakes my head* LOL
xoxo
Laura Stamps
Author of Erotica and Paranormal Romance Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (excerpts from all of my novels)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
December 12th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Re: Testosterone test
Thank the Goddesss for google, right?! I’ve already found what I need. Natural testosterone supplements. Yeah! Because I have used alternative healing for 35 years and because I am also a Witch I have an awesome supply of herbs. Hundreds of them in my kitchen. So I just found out on google the best testosterone supplement is one I already have. Maca.
Every morning he takes a handful of herbs I give him for his arthritis and heart condition. You can bet I’ll be slipping some Maca in there too now.
It really is amazing. He has all the symptoms of low testosterone levels, which include heart problems and trouble sleeping. Duh! And he keeps failing the sleep apnea test. Duh!
Good thing he’s married to a crafty, oversexed Witch, isn’t it? My, my this is going to be FUN!! *naughty grin*
xoxo
Laura Stamps
Author of Erotica and Paranormal Romance Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (excerpts from all of my novels)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
December 12th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
I sympathize!
My Dad used to say “Do SOMETHING, even if it’s WRONG”. Can’t wait to read about your plan!
December 12th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
Re: I sympathize!
Ha! You crack me up! Thanks for posting (big wave!)…great to see you here.
Still working on my plan, but it’s a good one. I’ll post it tomorrow. My, oh my, I’m having FUN with this! But you knew I would. *wicked grin*
xoxo
Laura Stamps
Author of Erotica and Paranormal Romance Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (excerpts from all of my novels)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
December 13th, 2008 at 10:18 pm
LoL. The way to do it when someone insists they’re right until the cows, donkeys and pigs come home is to simply agree with them.
Then go ahead and do your own thing, make them think it was their idea, or barring that, try to hide certain facts from them until it’s too late for them to yell at you. It’s sneaky, but at least there’s no risk of hypertension.