The Screaming Uber-Alpha

How do you feel about telephone sex? I’ve never had any, but I’ll bet some of my men friends around the country could accuse me of almost having email sex with them. I’m such a wicked flirt and tease you could easily call me incorrigible (much like my novel/novella character Noelle). But then I am a Southern Belle, and we’ve turned flirting into a fine art. In fact we’re pretty merciless when it comes to that. Poor men!

Anyway, back to telephone sex. I come across it from time to time in the erotica novels and novellas I read. I suppose it could be fun in person. But I find it rather boring to readabout, which is why I’ve never written a telephone sex scene in any of my novels/novellas. To tell you the truth, I’m more of an “action/adventure” girl, as in skin-on-skin action/adventure. A cell phone just isn’t going to cut it for me.

Speaking of sex, one of my very best friends at Goodreads (Cheryl) enjoys reading this blog and seeing where my naughty mind takes me from day to day. She sent me a PM last week, telling me she was reading my blog that day and cracking up as usual about my wicked antics, when she got to thinking how funny it would be if my husband had a blog. She said he could talk about his wife running him ragged sexually and attacking him with a container of chocolate icing while he’s singing Steve Perry songs. She is sure it would be a hit. Yeah, it probably would be. Problem is he hates computers. I told her the name of his blog would most likely be the “Screaming Uber-Alpha.” But just for kicks I told him what Cheryl said.

Now keep in mind this is a man who yells and screams at his computer almost every night while he’s answering emails from his customers, boss, and co-workers. Someone who counts the minutes (literally…he times himself…no kidding) until he can get offline and collapse in front of the TV to watch sports. I mean the man has never even read my blog (whew!…lucky me, right?). Even though I bookmarked it for him on his computer (was that brave of me, or what?).

So what did he say when I mentioned Cheryl’s idea? He said,” No way!! I hate computers.” See? I haven’t been regularly (and deliciously) impaled on the man for over 30 years for nothing, right? So no “Screaming Uber-Alpha” blog for my boy-toy husband. But you’ll still have my naughty blog to read every day….for better or worse! *wicked grin*

xoxo
Laura Stamps
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my Author blog…updated daily)

Tags: relationships

This entry was posted on Monday, July 14th, 2008 at 7:38 am and is filed under Naughty Notes, Women. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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bookaddict2 Says:
July 14th, 2008 at 2:24 pm

Like your poor hubby would ever have time to post to a blog if he wanted He’s too busy keeping you satisfied to write about his experiences and when that’s not happening, he is just trying to recover! But hey you gotta love men with stamina

My hubby doesn’t get the whole blogging thing either. He works with computers…programming and at the end of the day, he just wants to play computer games not write about his exciting day!

mr_dean_show Says:
July 14th, 2008 at 3:11 pm

I have been told I am one of the few men around that are good at giving it.
I would do it for a second Job it I could..
(Is that even possible?)
Do women call those numbers? Are there any number for women?
I could start one..
1-999-hot-Kilt..

any takers?

bookaddict2 Says:
July 14th, 2008 at 3:28 pm

I think you broke my TMI filter! I was blogging just a few minutes ago and phone sex and webcam sex were brought up in my blog and my TMI filter tingled but I didn’t edit it Are you an influence for good or for evil

BTW, I forgot to mention earlier that I have always been told that I have a phone sex voice when I talk on the phone. Apparently my phone voice and normal voice are a bit different. I used to get grief about my answering machine message because everyone said it was all breathy and hot! I mean how hot is it to say “we’re not in, leave a message?”

_diet_coke Says:
July 14th, 2008 at 7:16 pm

Re:

kilt???? Does that mean a scots or irish brogue is involved? That would definitely make a difference=)

_diet_coke Says:
July 14th, 2008 at 7:19 pm

You are one very lucky woman=)

I’ve never actually had phone ^^ realtions, but I definitely think it is a you had to be there kind of thing, doesn’t really work in a book.

laura_stamps8 Says:
July 14th, 2008 at 7:48 pm

How funny! Yeah, so far he’s not on Viagra, but he threatens it at least once a week, since all his friends are. I just ignore him like I always do. *big smile*

laura_stamps8 Says:
July 14th, 2008 at 7:51 pm

Dean, Dean, Dean, you are such a lady-killer! Why does this hidden talent of yours not surprise me? I swear if I were single I seriously consider popping out to CA for a “visit.” Especially since you’ve mended your vampy ways and have promised not to drain me. *naughty grin*

laura_stamps8 Says:
July 14th, 2008 at 7:57 pm

I didn’t do it! Or maybe I did. Strange things always happen to those who become involved with me, but “good” strange things. And isn’t sex good? I think so!!

So, yes, I am definitely an influence for good. Just ask your husband. Now he knows about chocolate icing and is looking forward to “testing driving” my delicious suggestion when he gets home. Yup, I’m an influence for good….that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it! *wicked grin*

laura_stamps8 Says:
July 14th, 2008 at 7:59 pm

Thanks! I agree. I’m a verrrry lucky woman. Thank the Goddess!

aurillia Says:
July 14th, 2008 at 8:14 pm

I don’t care for phone sex at all. Ahem, did try it once, with an ex-boyfriend, but it didn’t do anything for me. I’m trying to think if I’ve come across it in a book but I really can’t remember. I think I have but I don’t know what book it was – it’s just a hazy memory. It’s too disappointing. It’s really just another way of masturbating, which anyone can do anytime, really, so where’s the fun?

laura_stamps8 Says:
July 14th, 2008 at 8:17 pm

Shannon, that’s exactly what I’m thinking. So where is the thrill in that? Not. Give me skin-on-skin anytime. Please!!! *wicked grin*

bookaddict2 Says:
July 14th, 2008 at 10:59 pm

LOL Hubby would probably agree…of course he doesn’t know I blogged about phone sex and webcam sex either! He might be a bit mortified or he might think it’s okay for him to give out details about our sex life…I am not sure I want to go there

The Screaming Uber-Alpha

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