The Touchy-Feely Stuff Again. Oh, No!!!
Wes and I were out to dinner on Tuesday night when I decided to have some fun with my cranky Uber-Alpha husband. It had been cold and rainy all day. While we waited for our meal I made him hold my hand across the table to warm up my frozen fingers.
“I don’t know why you’re always so cold,” Wes muses, sandwiching my hand between both of his hot paws.
“I’m a thin slut,” I reply, winking at him. “Not a lot of padding on my bones.”
“Yeah.” He frowns and starts rubbing my hand to make it warmer. “Must be why you wear those silly mittens, even though it takes you forever to put them on.”
“Hey!” I protest. “I love my hot pink mittens with the sparkly fur around the wrists. They’re very toasty.” I shrug. “Not my fault it takes a while to get them on. My rings snag on the yarn, so I have to pull them on slowly.”
Wes rolls his eyes. “And that’s another thing. Why do you have to wear four rings? I only wear one.”
“Oh,” I snort. “Now you’re an authority on how many rings a woman should wear?”
“God, no!” he exclaims, taking my other hand to warm it up. “No way I would wanna be a woman.” He shivers at the thought. “That would be HORRIBLE!”
“You mean you don’t wanna be the one getting fucked?” I ask, laughing. “You’d rather be the Impaler rather than the Impalee?” I don’t know if that’s a word, but it sounded good when I said it. LOL
Wes just shakes his head and gives me one of those Alpha Impaler looks.
“So,” I purr, “you were really passionate during our sex date on Sunday. I guess this means you love me passionately.”
“What do you think?” he replies, smugly. “I think I showed you that.”
“So you do love me passionately?” I ask, grinning like crazy. Well, I can’t help it.
“Jesus Pete!” Wes exclaims. “More of that touchy-feely stuff!” He glares at me. “I thought we were gonna have a nice relaxing dinner, and now we’re talking about that again.”
“Touchy-feely stuff is important to women,” I reply.
Wes narrows his eyes at me. “Is this a test?”
“Nah,” I respond, laughing so hard I almost fall over in the booth. Well, I can’t help it. A test? WTF! Only an Alpha would think of that.
“Okay, then,” he says, looking relieved as he gives my hand a squeeze before releasing it. “Actions speak louder than words anyway. And I showed you plenty of action on Sunday.”
“Actions do NOT speak louder than words!” I exclaim. “Actions AND words are important.” I hold up two fingers and wiggle them at him. “Both of them. Not just action.”
Wes snorts and gives me another Alpha Impaler look.
“Do you know what I mean when I say I want to be passionately loved?” Wes’s eyes glaze over, and he gets that clueless look on his face, so I decide to forge ahead. “You know how I’m always all over you?”
“Oh, yeah,” Wes groans, like having a horny wife is suuuuuch a burden.
“Well, I want a man who feels the same way about me. Like he can’t get enough of me. Like he can’t keep his hands off me. That’s what being passionately loved means to me.”
I stop a minute to see if he has anything to say. But now he’s looking kinda comatose. Ya know, that expression Alphas get when you try to talk to them about emotional stuff. Oh, well…
“I don’t care what a man thinks,” I continue. “I don’t care if he thinks he loves me passionately. If he can’t say it AND show me with his actions then it doesn’t mean crap.”
Wes rolls his eyes.
“Can you do that?” I ask. Okay, I’m going for the gold here. “Can you jump all over me every day the way I jump all over you, like you can’t get enough of me? Like you want me passionately?”
“Maybe,” he replies. “We’ll see.”
“You’re underwhelming me with your enthusiasm, darlin’,” I reply, glaring at him. What is it with Alphas that they can’t commit with a Yes or No answer?
“I gave you plenty of words on Sunday,” he finally says in his defense.
“True.”
“And lots of cuddling,” he adds.
“That, too.”
“Well, it was fun.” He gives me a triumphant smile.
“The cuddling? Really?”
“Yeah,” he replies, as the server sets our meals in front of us. “I enjoyed it.”
Wow, miracles never cease.
“So you do love me passionately,” I say, as the server walks away.
“Damnation!” Wes exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air. “This is a test. I knew it!”
Hey, I couldn’t help myself. The man is just too easy. On the other hand, did you notice during this entire conversation he never SAID he’s passionately in love with me? Even though I know he thinks he is. Yeesh!! How hard can it be to SAY IT?
Okay, maybe I should give him a test. This could be fun. Hmmmmm…. *wicked grin*
xoxo
Laura Stamps
The Magickal Sex Goddess
Author of Paranormal Erotica & Romance Novels
(Witches, Shapeshifters, Vampires)
laura@laurastamps.com
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http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com
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Entries (RSS)
December 11th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
I'm reading this and its like a movie in my head! LMAO!!!!! I love it!!! When you make that test send it over to me OK? But ya know …David does get all over me and he tells me he loves me alot BUT….heres the kicker….he only does it when I am in the middle of feeding his kids,cooking dinner whatever and never NEVER when its just me and him….like he has to have witnesses….then he'll say 'I do tell you I love you and want you you just never pay any attention to me when I do it'…..
December 11th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
OMG- I love it!!! I would say that poor man, but I'd be a liar!!! You get 'em woman!! LMAO…
December 11th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
darn it!! forgot to log myself in before I commented… hahah
December 11th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
OK I think it is so funny because we have had that same conversation. LMAO But when i asked Tim what he thought of this he said, it girly stuff. I had to laugh at that. They always think talking about feelings is girly. Got to love them though…. Well we do have such great men in our lives we just have to love the Alpha that they are, but we dont have to always like them. HEHEHE
December 11th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
Um…well, knowing David, he DOES need witnesses. In fact he needs all the witnesses he can get. LMAO!!! By the way, I notice you called them "his" kids. You are cracking me up!
You got it. When I make up that test, I'll send a copy to you JUST for David. See how considerate I am? ROFL!!!
December 11th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
I know. Wes is always eager to tell everyone how tortured he is by me. Not! LMAO!!!
December 11th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
Yeah, that used to happen to my readers all the time when my blog was at LiveJournal. In fact it happened to me a few times too. I would post a reply, and it would come up "ANON." Huh? Then I would realize I hadn't logged in. A V8 moment for sure. LOL
December 11th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Poor Wes. Then he is gonna get a boatload of "girly stuff" from me until he can learn to say it and act it. The training period should be fun… *naughty grin*
December 11th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
Yes the training is fun at times!!!! B)
December 13th, 2009 at 1:14 am
You Beta's are playing right into the Alpha master plan! Who is really in control? HA!!!! HA!!!!
December 13th, 2009 at 1:29 am
I am, Tim! Know why? Cause Wes is really working hard at this passionate love thing. Who knows why? But I guess I got through to him finally. When he came home from golf tonight he was all over me, running his hands under my cami, pinching my nipples (he never does that just for fun). Then after dinner I went back to work in my office. 30 minutes later he comes in with a hard-on, and we have wild sex in my office chair. In fact he just left. I gotta say I'm LIKING this change. *sex-obsessed grin*
December 13th, 2009 at 1:38 am
It's not Sunday, that can't be true!!!
December 13th, 2009 at 1:43 am
Tell me about it! And we've still got a wild monkey sex date scheduled for Sunday. Don't know what is getting into the man, but I LOVE it!!!
December 13th, 2009 at 1:50 am
It appears that Wes has complied with Alpha Rule 6-4-2.1 Which reads, " After a round of golf and flirting with your very young female caddy, go home and surprise the wife with sex, or girly stuff.":p
December 13th, 2009 at 1:59 am
No female caddy. But he did go to his fav bar and get overserved for several hours, while watching college football. Does that count for 6-4-2.1? Of course he does that most Fridays and Saturdays so he knows I won't give him a hard time about it. Still, maybe he was playing it safe just in case? LMAO!!!!
You know I don't care, right? I'm a simple, sex-obsessed slut. As long as he wants to fuck me and can get his dick up that's all I care about. Wes has me on a looooooong leash. But his is pretty long too.
December 13th, 2009 at 2:18 am
The bar section of the Alpha Manual is "Top Secret" I am not at liberty to discuss!
Just tell Wes to keep up the good work! If he can "Rock your World" in an office chair, after being overserved at his favorite Alpha Bar, after a round of golf, He IS IN TOTAL CONTROL!!!!!!!! * smurk!!*
December 13th, 2009 at 3:16 am
LMAO!!! Oh, yeah. You're an Alpha alright. Too funny! Thanks for giving me such a big laugh. I have loved sparring with you tonight. Such FUN!!!
I think with Wes his "total control" is minute to minute. He's never quite sure about me. But ya know how it is. We Betas gotta keep you Alpha guys on your toes. Or us on our backs. Probably both. *lusty grin*
December 14th, 2009 at 2:01 am
"Alpha Impaler"–I love it!! LOL!
December 14th, 2009 at 2:28 am
That was a good one, wasn't it? I liked Impalee too. LMAO!!!!