Wes Fucked Up Again. Ugh!
I’m sure by now many of you have seen me hinting about this, so here are the juicy details. 
When I had lunch at the mall last Tuesday with my friend Amanda she said she couldn’t believe Wes hadn’t noticed I haven’t been wearing my wedding ring for almost two weeks now. That was the first time he fucked up. The Thursday before Valentine’s Day when he complained for the third time that week about having to give me a Valentine’s Day gift.
What?
I mean, we’re only talking about a $50 bookstore gift card, ya know? Well, the the third time he complained I blew and told him I was tired of his negative attitude about EVERYTHING. Then I declared our marriage open, so he could go out and find a woman he liked enough to give her a V-day gift without bitching constantly about it.
My first thought when he did that was I’m tired of wearing my wedding ring and honoring a marriage he obviously thinks little of. Wes apologized profusely (of course) and tried to be more positive. But I’m tired of having to blow up every month or two just to get him to be nice to me. So I wasn’t in any hurry to put my ring back on. I thought I would just wait and see how long this latest effort of his lasted.
I told Amanda (and my agent when he said he was shocked, too, that Wes hadn’t noticed) it could take Wes six months to notice I’m not wearing my ring. Know why? Cause he rarely notices anything about me. I’m one of those lucky women who never has to worry about her husband cranking at her for buying clothes, because Wes doesn’t particularly like my taste in clothes (okay, I dress like my 20-something friends). And he thinks my addiction to trashy lingerie is silly, too. Thus, he never pays any attention to what I wear. Or don’t wear. Like my wedding ring.
That night he came home an hour later than usual for dinner because he’d been having too much fun with his buds after work. That meant when we went out to dinner we had a 15-minute wait to be seated.
Wes is an Alpha and a Leo, and he HATES to wait. So he immediately started complaining to me about it. The conversation got so negative I finally told him to cut the crap and tell me something positive.
“Well, if you don’t like it you can just leave,” he replies, glaring at me viciously. “You can take your books, computer, and cats and move out. I’ll be happy when you’re gone.”
Huh?
“So you’re saying you wanna divorce me?” I ask, trying not to get pissed at this latest hissy-fit tantrum of his.
“Just leave,” he snarls. “Take all your stuff and clear out.”
“Excuse me,” I say (okay, now I’m pissed). “In a divorce I get the house, and you move out.”
“No way,” he responds, grinning nastily. “I stay, and I’m kicking your ass out.”
Unfortunately, the thingy they gave us started flashing its little red lights, and we were seated.
“Let me get this straight,” I say after the server takes our order and walks away. “You wanna divorce me just because I’m tired of all your negative shit?”
“Yes,” he insists, glaring at me with eyes cold as stone. “I want you OUT!”
Okay, he’s worked himself into a good one this time. I wait a few minutes while he glares hatefully at me. “So you don’t want an open marriage,” I say. “You wanna divorce instead? Okay.”
He blinks. And clarity returns. “I never said that,” he replies, suddenly realizing what he’s done.
“You just told me you would be happy for me to move out,” I repeat. “Sounds like a divorce to me.”
“You know how I am,” he says, backtracking fast. “I get aggravated and say things I don’t mean.”
“Oh, I know exactly how you are,” I say, narrowing my eyes at him, thoroughly pissed. “You’re an Arrogant Alpha Asshole!”
He grabs my hand across the table, patting it, trying to make nice. It’s like he just realized it was only nine days ago he landed in the doghouse the last time, and he’s still on probation with me. Now he’s fucked up again. This time even worse.
Yikes!
Because he’s actually making himself pay attention to me he starts to frown as he strokes my hand. I follow his gaze and find he’s looking at my ring finger.
“You’re not wearing your wedding ring,” he says, pulling my ring finger up to get a better look at the gold fashion ring I’m wearing instead.
I can’t help laughing. I mean, if he hadn’t fucked up so badly AGAIN and hadn’t been backpedaling fast AGAIN it probably would’ve taken him six months to notice I’m not wearing my ring.
“I stopped wearing it when you fucked up the last time,” I reply. “For the last two years it’s like I’ve gotta have a meltdown every few weeks to get you to be nice to me. So I wasn’t in any hurry to put it back on this time.”
“You haven’t been wearing your ring for two weeks?” he asks, incredulous. Then he points to his ring. “But I wear mine all the time.”
“That’s because I’ve never given you a reason NOT to wear it!” I exclaim. “Get a clue, DUDE!!”
“Dude?” He shakes his head, laughing sheepishly.
“And now less than two weeks later you’ve said mean things to me again.” I roll my eyes. “This really encourages me to wear my ring, dontcha think? Especially after you said you’d be happy if I left.”
“I never said that!”
I just glare at him.
“Okay, I was having a fit. I can’t remember what I said.”
Yeah, Wes has been backpedaling ever since. The next day I got these text messages from him:
1.) “Sorry I acted like an ass. You didn’t deserve it.”
2.) “I think stress and alcohol made me do it. I love you and want us to stay together. I said things I didn’t mean and I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”
Then he left me this note in the kitchen:
“Sorry about last night. I was a jerk. xoxo”
That evening he came home with roses. A week later he’s still being extra sweet to me, and I’m groovin’ on it.
But, damn! It’s a bitch he has to fuck up for me to get the royal treatment from him, ya know?
Oh, and I’m still not wearing my wedding ring. Like I said, he’s gotta give me a good reason to put it back on. And I’m still waiting. I mean, he hasn’t passed the 9-day mark yet… *rolls my eyes*
xoxo
Laura Stamps ©
The Magickal Sex Goddess
Author of Paranormal Erotica & Romance Novels
(Witches, Shapeshifters, Vampires)
laura@laurastamps.com
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March 2nd, 2010 at 3:08 pm
Oh Laura…I feel for ya…you need to send him to the desert and let him get stalked by Taliban on camels with live ammo.He'll come back with lots gifts and be so lovey dovey you'll have to use a crow bar to get him off ya long enough to make a potty break.Then he'll keep apologizing for ignoring ya and being such a party pooper and acting like an old man.Some alpha men are very slow learners and it takes a major shock/dose of reality to turn them around.I got oodles of ' I'm sorries' when David came home yesterday…I'm thinking watching bad guys riding at you on racing camels when you have no gun to shoot back makes you think just a ltitle bit. Good thing he was surrounded by the good guys at the time.
March 2nd, 2010 at 3:32 pm
Laura, you best tell Wes that there are hundreds of us horny, romantic guys out here who would love to give you Valentine's Day gifts and take care of you in the manner to which you've becum accustomed! Including more hard cock than you've ever dreamed of!
March 2nd, 2010 at 3:35 pm
Shit Laura… the word Dysfunctional Marriage comes to mind when ever I read your blog now a days. Wes (aka. *C*) has given you the out you've been needing…. for goddess sake take it!!!!!! Find yourself someone who really appreciates you. You've got the finances now to do it.
March 2nd, 2010 at 4:39 pm
I love it!!! Wow, David should go to the desert more often! I can't believe his change in attitude. Hope it lasts. You know how those Alpha men are. They have very short memories.
Hey, what kind of sexy goodies did he bring back for ya? Spill, girlfriend!
March 2nd, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Thanks, Dave! You're a sweetheart. You always make me purrrrrrrrrr….! *lusty grin*
March 2nd, 2010 at 4:45 pm
Thanks for your concern, Jan! Men go through another midlife crisis in their 50s. I think this is what has been happening the last 2 years with Wes. He had a horrifying midlife crisis from 42-45 and we almost divorced after that one. But this latest fuck-up of his may have been just the shock-treatment he needed to snap out of it. He has been so sweet and "reformed" lately I started wearing my wedding ring again as of today. Yeah, he's been that good. And so has the sex (and LOTS of it!). YOWZA! *sex-obsessed grin*
March 2nd, 2010 at 4:47 pm
Thanks, Desiree! You're so right. There are lots of good guys out there for sure! Fortunately, Wes is coming around. Finally! lmao!!
March 2nd, 2010 at 4:34 pm
hey tell were to go and i did that to my bf he said i have every thing which is right but i wanted something for
valentine sday and then my bf was 4 day latter but i did get t he flowes and candy i did get to go to a show
but i wanted a teddy bear and did not get it bummer but there are some better guys are out there and then if
you just wati and see he might come around
March 2nd, 2010 at 10:53 pm
Just backhand Wes right in his junk and he will stop complaining all the time, or he will only have one complaint, that you quit hitting his junk. OR sit on his face and the complaining will add vibrations!!!
March 2nd, 2010 at 11:12 pm
Well girl i have been worried about you two. Sometimes we dont give our love one of many years the attention they need and deserve. Since you have been married for all these years he has just forgotten what he has. So sometimes we have to remind them what we want, need, and deserve. Then if he takes notice, you have gotten through to him. It seems to me that you got through to Wes just in time. Wooo thats good, i am all about working it out if at all possible. I can say i am also guilty of saying things to my husband that was not nice and he to me. But we have always been able to talk to each other (later) and get through it. __But Wes better think twice about telling you to leave, i mean you do have plenty of male fans that would sweep you off your feet (if you give them a chance). Then who would give Wes his shots so he could have fun? lol
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:02 am
When I saw this reply in my inbox, I only saw your email addy and I thought this has GOT to be Tim. You crack me up! Nah, I'm not a backhand kinda girl, and certainly not in my fav part of his bod. *lmao* But I do like the vibrations idea. Thanks! Yeah, I could totally get into that…. *lusty grin*
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:06 am
This is true! Somebody would have to go to his doc with him and the nurse would have to teach that woman how to give Wes his fun-time shots. *lmao* Don't worry. Things are going very well now. He is trying not to complain but it is such a habit he slips up. However he is trying and that counts for something. I mean, I would hate to have to tune out everything he says. ya know? lol
March 9th, 2010 at 10:20 pm
Glad things are working out for you hunny. I hated hearing things were bad for you. Its no fun for any woman.
Just one question…can this midlife crisis happen at 35? And how long does it usually last. My hubby has been almost exactly the same..the complaining, the nasty attitude and the lack appreciation of me and our marriage for almost 4 years on and off. Oh he will screw up big, I blow and bitch, and then he is great for a few days. But then it starts all over again. Thing is it seems to be getting worse instead of better. At first it was a couple times a year, then maybe every 2 months or so, now it's down to almost a weekly event. Half the time I don't know if he is going to wake up in one of his "moods" or not. The unpredictability of it all is just killing me. I have even gone so far as to suggest he see the doc about the possibility of having depression, as a sufferer myself I know I can get into a funk when I am doing bad or not taking my meds. He never bothered making an appointment.
This last time was the kicker for me. He has never been physical, and nor would I ever allow him to stay if he was, but he gets in your face and intimidates which in my opinion is quite threatening to anyone. Now I stand my ground with him as I will never again let any man know I am afraid but this time he did it to my teenage son from a prev relationship, the 2 have never seen eye to eye and have had no relationship in over 10 years. Needless to say I was pissed that he did that to a child. I told him first off to bloody grow up and then I said he either checked into an anger management course and registered his ass in it or that was it. That was 2 weeks ago. So far he hasn't done it. Not checked into one that he has said, not signed up to one for sure.
Any advice since it seems you've been through Wes's issues a time or two? Is it possible this is a mid-life crisis and will it end soon or should I be thinking of the possibility of calling it quits? The time before this I told him things had to change, and they did for a bit but it just keeps happening and I frankly, am sick of the shit. And ya, I love him when he is in his "good" and "normal" moods…but this nasty crap…I just can't do anymore of it! Sorry hunny, I suppose I should have said Dear Laura at the beginning of all this…lol Your opinion is very appreciated if you don't mind. I admire you, your zest for life and your opinions. Thanks girlfriend. Luv Gina
March 9th, 2010 at 10:45 pm
I cover this in "The Witches Of Dixie." When Wes went through his horrid midlife crisis when he was 42-45, I took notes cause I knew I would use it one day in a book. The character in WOD (Ravena) actually takes a mini vacation to try and decide if she should leave her husband or not. It's so awful it's like your wonderful husband died and you go through a real grieving period.
Yes, I have heard of midlife crisis happening in the early 30s as well as eary 40s and early 50s. Interesting. Maybe this is just something that happens to Alpha men? Every decade they realize they are not in conrol of the world like they pretend and it depresses them? Who knows? But I do know one thing from talking to men who experienced this. NONE of them ever admit to it. Wes still pretends like he never had one for 3 FUCKING YEARS! Argh!
You have to do what Ravena did. You have to decide what makes you happy and do it. To snap Wes out of his I finally cast a spell on him. He thanked me afterwards. But if it hadn't worked you know how I am. I don't tolerate abusive crap no matter what.
March 11th, 2010 at 12:17 am
Thanks sweetie. I only wish i could do what Ravena did and take a vacation…but with 2 young kids, that is not a possibility. I guess I will have to just wait and see if he takes me seriously or not…*sigh* I am not a very patient woman, nor am I advanced enough yet to cast the spell and have it work right…
Back to my faithful love, writing. At least it lets me down less often…
*kisses*