When it Comes to Sex, I Think Like a Guy
I was talking to a guy friend of mine last week, and we were discussing my novels and blog. He’s been reading everything of mine he can get his hands, and we’ve been talking a lot about my work. It’s been a real treat for me, since I rarely talk to people who understand the nitty gritty of what I do.
“The writing in your novels and blog is very feminine,” he says. “I can see why women like it so much. It’s easy for them to relate to you.”
True. I’m a Southern Belle through and through. None of that guy stuff for me. Horrors! I’m all perfume and sexy clothes and everything soft and feminine.
Except when it comes to sex, and I told him that.
“Oh, yes, you are!” he protests. “You’re very feminine about sex.”
“I am not!” I exclaim. “Think about it. Most women approach sex romantically, meaning emotion is a big part of it for them.”
“True,” he agrees. “And it’s the same for you.”
“Excuse me,” I laugh. “Have you read my blog?”
“Of course I have!” he snorts. “I’ve read almost every blog post. You know that.”
“Okay then, let’s back up,” I say. “Sex is emotional for women.”
“True.”
“And many women complain because it’s not as emotional for men,” I continue. “For most men it’s primarily physical, and emotion has nothing to do with the sex act itself. Most guys wanna fuck, so they do it as often as they can. Period. They don’t have to be emotionally into it to wanna fuck or to have an O.”
“True,” he agrees.
“How is this different from me?” I ask. “Sex is physical for me, not emotional. I’m a lust addict. I wanna fuck, and I wanna do it as often as I can. Emotion has nothing to do with the sex act itself in my life. I’m a frisky fuck, and I like it!”
He laughs.
“Hey,” I continue. “It’s always all about me, ya know? Good sex for me is physical. Give me lots of great Os, and I’m a happy woman. How is this different from a guy?”
I went on to say I think that’s why so many women in this country aren’t multi-O women. I read somewhere it takes an average of 20 minutes of foreplay for most women to have an O.
Horrors!
No wonder so many are dissatisfied with their sex lives after decades of marriage. Many men don’t wanna put forth that kind of time investment. For one thing, they can’t last that long. Plus, sex is physical for them. Even if they love their wives dearly, they want that O somehow some way. It’s a physical thing.
So here’s what I’m wondering. Why can’t women take the same approach? Why can’t they be physical during sex and save the emotion for cuddling afterwards? Just go feral for a change. Ya know, like an animal. Works great for me!
In fact, I’ll bet the length of time it takes you to have an O will decrease, and the amount of your Os will increase if you nix the emotional and go straight to the physical during sex.
I have my first G-spot O after 5-6 thrusts of a good hard dick. That’s because I shut down my brain and heart and do all my thinking with my pussy.
“I tell women to shut their eyes during sex, and they’ll have an O faster,” I say. “If they can’t do that, I suggest using a blindfold. You know me…kink is good! And a blindfold cuts off the visual, which shuts down their brains, making it easier for them to concentrate on the physical.”
“Do you close your eyes the entire time you’re having sex?” he asks.
“Of course.”
“That’s because everyone closes their eyes during sex,” he snorts.
“They do not!” I protest. “Lots of women keep their eyes open during sex. To make it worse the Alpha heroes in most erotica novels tell the heroine to keep her eyes open and to look at him the entire time. He wants her to see who’s giving her such a fabulous O. Arrogant bastard!”
“That’s because they think it’s more romantic to look into the eyes of your lover while you’re having sex,” he says.
Duh. Thus, the lack of Os in many women. I rest my case. LMAO!!!
xoxo
Laura Stamps
Paranormal Erotica & Romance Novelist
(Witches, Shapeshifters, Vampires)
To read excerpts from my novels:
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com
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January 11th, 2010 at 4:04 pm
I think you're both right.Men think with their little heads and most women think all the time,period.I wish I could just stop all thought processes during sex but lets face it at night when the kids are in bed and the TV is off,the phone has stopped ringing,hubby is being attentive and you're finally relaxing and your brain should be 'in the momment' but it wanders off someplace like the grocery store,what didnt get done and what you're gonna put in kids lunches so they'll eat or you make lists for lists.And about keeping your eyes open?What about just peeking?I mean you close your eyes and you can imagine having sex with anyone but the one you married is the one who is having sex w/you at the moment knowing that when your eyes are closed you just might be imagining someone else but thats ok cause he 's the one who gets to keep you.Oh and its easy to relate to you cause you say outloud what we're thinking when we're suppose to be NOT thinking with our lower half…
January 11th, 2010 at 5:52 pm
I must be a lesbian trapped in a man's body. I don't care for sex anywhere near as much without intimacy, crave foreplay with a passion, and have had experiences where I didn't even feel the need for personal sexual release, yet was still satisfied psycho-emotionally … And I keep my eyes open to watch the expression of my partner, a sort of intimate feedback. Am I so rare?
January 11th, 2010 at 6:45 pm
My approach is exactly the same as yours; but not for the same reason. I'm single after 15 years of being married to a man who I didn't have sex with for the last 7 years of our marriage. I was so hurt for so long by his lack of intimacy, that I don't want to feel that hurt again. I just want to feel the pleasure of the sex act…period! I hate to admit it, but it's all about me now!
What are your thoughts on this?
January 11th, 2010 at 7:12 pm
Carol, your brain is driving me nuts!!! *LMAO* Okay, did I say to fantasize about fucking someone esle? No. That's because you have to use your brain to fantasize about fucking someone other than your lover. STOP THINKING! Yes, you have to use a blindfold. No, you CAN'T peek! Your brain is waaaaaay too active for peeking. Just FEEL, Carol. Stop thinking with your brain and just concentrate on how good your pussy feels. Try it. You'll like it!
Thanks! I'll say all the things for you that you would never say but think all the time. Especially the naughty stuff.
Speaking of that, you're gonna LOVE my blog post on Wednesday. *wicked grin*
January 11th, 2010 at 7:14 pm
Nah, you're just one of those sweet, Betas, Ken. More power to ya!
January 11th, 2010 at 7:19 pm
Debbie, I'm totally with ya on that. It's always all about me. Like I've said before, the cool thing about that is Wes doesn't mind because the things that pleasure me pleasure him too (like my obesssion with sex and BJs). So go for it, girlfriend!!! Women should be more selfish when it comes to sex. In this country we are taught to be good girls and to put everyone before us. Same thing happens with sex. Stop doing that! It just means you won't enjoy sex as much as we were designed to.
More power to ya, Debbie! You are on the right track. You've got 7 years of lost time to make up for. Makes me purrrrrr just thinking about how much FUN you're gonna have. *sex-obsessed grin*
January 11th, 2010 at 7:20 pm
Hey Ken ….I dont think you're the only guy like that…I know my hubby keeps his eyes open,always has.AND even though he is moron alpha most days he is a cuddler and is great in the foreplay department.And he doesnt give up on me if I am not satisfied as quickly as he is…so rare you might be but that is not a bad thing.I think there are more like you and my hubby but most guys just wont admit they like the soft, cuddly side of sex/lovemaking…..
Debbie and whats wrong with it being all about you? Go for it and if a guy doesnt get that then too damn bad….
January 11th, 2010 at 7:45 pm
OK so i am with you on the O s, I have one in about 30 sec. of thrusting and LOVE it (then many more)!! I keep my eyes closed and dont think about anything except more. Fast, hard, and more so does that mean I think like a guy? O well thats how i like it and always want more. Woo what a change my life has taken. Not long ago I did not like sex really, it was not fun to me, then i found my lusty side (and feel in LOVE with it). I want to be sexy, feel sexy, act sexy, and have lots of sex!!!!! <3
January 11th, 2010 at 8:58 pm
Yeah, Beach, you think about sex like a guy. And isn't it major FUN?!!!! Hey, you can't beat keeping your eyes closed and concentrating on how it feels for lots of good Os. Guys do it. So why shouldn't we? *sex-obsessed grin*
January 11th, 2010 at 9:20 pm
stop thinking….right …gotta try that….
January 11th, 2010 at 10:42 pm
You can do it, Carol!!!! I have complete faith in you.
January 11th, 2010 at 11:04 pm
Ok, I'm the oppsite. Sort of. I like to watch my man thrust his dick in and out of me, as I'm pretty visual and get turned on by naughty pictures,vidoes,etc, I also like it hard and fast! "naughty grin" I think there are some women out there that don't have o's maybe either because they're not comfortable enough w/ their bodies to relax and enjoy the pleasureable sensations, or maybe b/c their guy isn't in tuned to what she needs or how she needs it. As for the emotional part. I do feel more comfortable and lusty w/ sometone I'm emotionally involved w/ . it's just nice to have someone to crave!
But yes raw unbridled sex is wonderful! Very empowering for us women too!
January 11th, 2010 at 11:18 pm
You're absolutely right, Cynthia. Many women are not comfortable with their bods for one reason or another. And there are soooo many married men who are wham-bammers (2-minute men). But, yeah, wild monkey sex is GREAT!!!
January 11th, 2010 at 7:33 pm
Carol, you crack me up!! Oh, you are sooooo gonna love my blog post on Wednesday. Yeah, it's another I''M FED UP WITH ALPHA MEN posts. And this is a reallllllly good one. Not so much the moron side of them, but the arrogant bastard side of them. lmao!!!
Oh, and before anyone panics….no, it's not Wes. He is being amazingly sweet during this cold thing he's had the last week. See? Miracles never cease. Nah, I'm fed up with all the other Alpha men in my life, so WATCH OUT, guys! lol
January 12th, 2010 at 8:04 am
“I want to see your eyes….I like your eyes….and your mouth…and…every part of you….and I want to taste…every part of you….does that make me one of those ‘alpha’s….
January 12th, 2010 at 1:05 pm
…if you've already "prepared" the sofa….for him….with warm blankets….and then…
January 12th, 2010 at 4:20 pm
Hello, everyone! Laura, very fun to read your posts and the replies again.
Sure glad to hear that most of you women like it "fast and hard." I think because I've beat my cock so hard and so often over the years that it now takes me a lot of friction to get off. So I can go "fast and hard" longer than I used to. Would be fun to find a gal who also liked to take it fast and hard for a bit longer than she's perhaps used to.
As for Carol letting her mind wander, I guarantee if I'm down there sucking on that cute little hard button of hers, or if I have my hand vibrater pressing down on her there, her mind won't be wandering! But there I go bragging again.
Very enjoyable reading frank sexual discussions. Keep it up, gals. Oops, I forgot–that would be your advice to me. Dave
January 12th, 2010 at 4:24 pm
Signing up for comments, I hope!
January 12th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
Dave, I think I would like to meet you! Oh my……..
January 12th, 2010 at 5:06 pm
um..Dave..LOL…thanks but I have all the man I can handle at the momment…one alpha at a time
January 12th, 2010 at 5:54 pm
Debbie, I'm sure I would like to meet you, too! As you know, we guys meet very few gals we wouldn't like to do.
And Carol, very happy you have all the man you can handle right now, although that fact doesn't make my cock very happy. I know Laura is the same way: she talks a good fight but in the end is loyal to Wes. We need some kind of sex exchange here. Guaranteed safe sex when you need it! Now wouldn't that be something?
I must get Cynthia's reaction to all this, too. After all, she's another hottie who likes it "hard and fast." Aren't enough of those gals to go around!
January 12th, 2010 at 5:58 pm
Debbie: I've never been married, but how a guy could not want to do you every chance he got, I'll never understand. Seven years? Man, that' s like forever without sex! I would love to welcome you back to the fold!
January 12th, 2010 at 1:07 pm
….and you come like a girl….
January 12th, 2010 at 6:08 pm
It's a long and complicated story…by the way, I've been "back to the fold" plenty of times since I left him, and it's better than it ever was with him!!!!! As a side note, he was getting it during those seven years…just not from me!
January 12th, 2010 at 6:17 pm
Deb: glad you're "back in the fold." I'm sure the guys love being back in your fold, too. But sorry you had to go the seven years. Doesn't sound like much fun.
January 12th, 2010 at 6:25 pm
You don't know the half of it! I'm not getting it as often as I need it. That's a major issue!
January 12th, 2010 at 6:37 pm
An oversexed woman? To me, that's almost an oxymoron. There is no excuse for a woman like you not getting enough when there are all these horny guys out here like me. Talk about a crying shame!
January 12th, 2010 at 6:40 pm
Dave: Laura is gonna get mad at us turning this in to a 'chat room'. LOL!
January 12th, 2010 at 6:50 pm
Deb, I would think Laura would endorse our frank discussion here and support all endeavors for more sex!
January 12th, 2010 at 6:59 pm
Perhaps. I have to say I completely agree with Laura on her approach about sex being 'an emotional thing' instead of a 'physical thing' for women. I definitely feel that it is the downfall of women, and why they get hurt and feel rejected. I know I felt that way for years…those days are OVER!!!!!
January 12th, 2010 at 7:07 pm
Deb, we guys can get emotional, too, as in: "Spread your legs, I think I'm in love!" Sport fucking, as we guys call it, is the best sport anyone can play!
January 12th, 2010 at 7:09 pm
Yep…I'm a team player!!!!!
January 12th, 2010 at 8:10 pm
LMAO!!!
January 12th, 2010 at 8:11 pm
That I do. I cum and cum and cum every time just like a girl. And, oh, how I love it!!
Thanks for commenting! Great to see you here!!
January 12th, 2010 at 8:13 pm
Dave!!! Awesome to see you here!!
Ladies, Dave is one of my fav horny pervy guys from the Amazon Sex forum and from the Sex group I used to co-mod at Goodreads. I'm thrilled he is here!
January 12th, 2010 at 8:15 pm
Absolutely! I've been out running errands and just got back at 3:00 to find this convo here. Love it!
January 12th, 2010 at 8:15 pm
Good for you, Deb!!