You Drank an Entire Bottle of Wine?!!
What a great week! I finished my latest erotica novella, Rune Witch Book 3: The Harvest Moon, on Tuesday, wrote the submission package on Wednesday, and sent it off to my publisher that afternoon. Yay!
On Wednesday I also met Melissa for lunch at the mall to sign her copy of Call of the Witches: Book Three of the Witchery Series. Let me tell you she looked GORGEOUS! She’s been working hard on integrating a healthier lifestyle into her daily routine and has already lost over 40 pounds in the process. You go, girl!!
Her husband, Jason, joined us for lunch. He’s the one who so appropriately named me "Porn Laura." Don’t you love it?! We had major fun. He wanted to know all about my "harem of men," so I gave him a taste of what we do. Then he and I tried to talk Melissa into a ménage (m/f/m) with his best friend from college who has been hot for her since day one. By the time he had to go back to work, he told us whenever he’s around me he ends up saying things he would NEVER imagine saying. Who doesn’t know that (LOL)? I seem to have that kind of naughty effect on everyone I meet. Don’t you love it?! *wicked grin*
Afterwards, Melissa and I stopped off at Waldenbooks. I found an awesome nonfiction sexbook on sale illustrated with great photos. And Melissa and I teased Yancey (the manager) relentlessly. He’s another one of those totally hot, yummy local guys. I can’t remember what we said that made him blush so much. I think we were talking about the pickle book….ya know, Tickle His Pickle: Your Hands-On Guide to Penis Pleasing by Dr. Sadie Allison. Then we cruised by Dillard’s lingerie department on the way out to our cars, fingering deliciously sheer fabrics, silk, satin, fishnet, and feathers. Ooooooh! Yeah, we had lots of fun that afternoon. 
But that evening the Uber landed in the doghouse with me. Seriously. After his scare with A-Fib, his heart doctor put him on low-dose high blood pressure meds and restricted his daily alcohol intake from copious amounts of vodka to only two glasses of red wine every night. But when he came home Wednesday night he was drunk. I kid you not.
As he so eloquently put it….it wasn’t his fault. Yeah, right. He said he only bought two glasses of wine. But while he was playing the bowling machine with his buddies at the bar he stops off at every day after work, they bought him endless glasses. Enough to total an entire bottle of wine. And he drank all of it. *shakes my head in amazement*
Needless to say, I was NOT happy. Okay, let me stop right here and assure you the Uber is not an alcoholic. Trust me, if he were, I would have divorced him years ago. My dad was an alcoholic, so I have zero tolerance for that kind of thing, if you know what I mean. The Uber is actually allergic to alcohol. Seriously. That’s why drinking any alcohol is something his body makes him pay dearly for. But boys will be boys. Or ex-jocks will be ex-jocks. Something like that. Anyway, they tend to get each other in trouble when they grow up, and the Uber is right there with them. LOL
Fortunately, his heart rebelled against its shabby treatment from that bottle of wine, and yesterday he suffered one anxiety attack after another. He ended up having to take two of his high blood pressure meds just to calm down. Yeah, the Uber learned his lesson. And good. He was a changed man by the time he hustled off to the Sleep Center last night, so they can try to figure out why he snores so loudly every night it sounds as though he’s sucking all the paint off the walls. Good luck with that. ROFL
xoxo
Laura Stamps (c)
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
Laura Stamps (c)
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
Entries (RSS)
November 14th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Both my parents were alcoholics so I hear you loud and clear on this. I’ve seen firsthand the damage it can do, which is the reason why I barely drink at all. I’d rather enjoy a nice glass of wine and have it as a treat every now and then. Makes it more special. Hope your Uber is feeling better now?
November 14th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Bloody thing. Mumble grumble. Maybe I should threaten to disembowel my computer with a pair of pliers…that might stop it rendering me anonymous…just for a change like.
November 14th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Annie, you crack me UP!!! You obviously have a real love/hate dynamic going on in the relationship with your computer. ROFL
I guess I should be used to this by now. I always read your Anon comments and think, who is this person who acts like she knows me so well, yet never signs her comments?? Then I get your grumbling comment and find out it’s you. Too funny!
Sorry to hear both of your parnts were alcoholics. Real bummer of a way to grow up, I know. In that case you will totally relate to my latest novel “Call of the Witches.” The heroine’s parents were alcoholics, and it kept her from findng a good man. Part of the plot of the book is how she overcomes that (co-dependency) and finds a great guy. Lots of empowering stuff in it for the children of alcoholics.
xoxo
Laura Stamps
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
November 14th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
LOL
You are too funny
Thank you so much for the great compliments 
I really appreciate it!!
As for the menage, I don’t know…why would I want to mess with what is already a very good thing! For example, we had another very awesome sex date last night!! It was…well in one word, WOW!
BTW, check my new blog later for a very fun post (Jason actually thought up the title!) Of course, he was really intrigued by yesterday’s post too!
November 14th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Re: LOL
You’re welcome. You deserve them.
Menage, menage. It’s the ice cream bowl thing, ya know? Just another scoop of a good thing. LOL
Yeah, I can imagine Jason loved your first post. I saw that gleam in his eye when we were talking about menage, remember? Hey, what did Chuck think about your menage post? I’ll bet I’m his new best friend, right? *wicked grin*
xoxo
Laura Stamps
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
November 14th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Naughty Uber
Poor Uber, I hope he learns his lesson well. Thankfully I have no taste for wine or beer. Literally, I can’t stand the taste or smell of either. The only thing I’ve ever tasted and liked were fruit flavored daiquiris and margaritas.
Ooh La La, a ménage what fun you must have had discussing that naughty topic in public. Wish *I* could have been there. {grin}
Ja’niece
November 14th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Re: Naughty Uber
Yeah, Jan, you would have had a blast. No topic is sacred in public with me. *naughty grin*
xoxo
Laura Stamps
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)
November 14th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Re: LOL
Guess where I went today? Back to Waldenbooks with my Borders coupon, and I bought that nonfiction sex book in bargain books section, the one you showed me. Great photos in that one!!
Guess what else I did? I gave Yancey a hard time about telling us he is HOT. Then I flipped out a new sheer black babydoll I had just bought on sale at Sears (Andrea told me about it). I always give her the thongs on those if I buy them at the mall. You should have seen Yancey’s face. It was priceless. Love that guy! And he is hot. I always knew it. He’s just so shy I was shocked he told us that. But I could tell the first time I met him…he has the lustiest eyes. Ever noticed that? *wicked grin*
xoxo
Laura Stamps
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)