Laura Stamps » steve perry

Hide All Your Yummy Guys!! My Inner Dirty Girl Wants to Come Out & Play

Laura — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 11:00:43 +0000

First, an update. I am slowly but surely getting the agent/publisher mess of the last year straightened out. Whew!

Just got a contract today from Trytium Publishing. My ex-agent’s plan was to buy out my publishing contracts with my other publishers and put all my books with one publisher. A BIG risk for me, but I decided to give it a shot. That means he bought out my contract for “The Witchery Series” with Trytium last year.

Well, as you all know, the “new” publisher didn’t work out, and we parted ways on May 21. That meant I finally got the 9 books back that publisher had been sitting on for almost a year. Three of those books are “The Witchery Series” trilogy novels. The deal my ex-agent worked out with Trytium was that those novels would never go out of print during the transition phase. So Trytium has continued to publish them in paperback. The minute I got all the rights back, I contacted Dave at Trytium, and told him to send me another contract. That’s what I got today. So Trytium will continue to publish this popular series in paperback, and Kittyfeather Press will now publish this trilogy in ebook with hunky new covers. Cool, huh?

When I got the 9 books back in May, Alex and I set a goal of getting all of them published and in ebook (on my site and in the Kindle Store) in 30 days. I mean, they’ve been languishing at different publishers for two years now, and enough is enough, ya know?! Yeesh!

So far so good on reaching our goal. I’ve been working like a crazy woman ever since and have completed final edits on “The Rune Witch Series” and “The Witchery Series” and put them in ebook format. Now they’re in Alex’s verrry talented hands while she creates hunky covers for them and downloads them on my site in pdf and in the Kindle Store. BTW, some of you have been asking me if I have a publication date on these two series. Not exactly, but I can say they will go on sale in the next few weeks.

Last night I finished the first of the three books in my Memoir Series, “Being Naughty,” and sent it to Alex. So I just have the last two to edit, put in ebook format, and send to Alex (“Still Naughty” and “Always Naughty”). When I finish those two all 9 books will FINALLY be in production and ready to go. Yay!

Speaking of the first memoir, “Being Naughty,” I thought I’d run an excerpt from it today. It’s another one of my naughty memes. This one is from August 29, 2008. Yeah, this “Memoir Series” is full of all kinds of FUN stuff!

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I found this meme at the blog of my saucy friend, Ann. I usually avoid memes like the plague, but this one appealed to my inner dirty girl, so I thought I’d give it a shot. To be honest, this was the usual clean meme when I found it on Ann’s blog, but I couldn’t help tweaking and rewriting it in terribly naughty ways.

What can I say? The strangest things excite my inner dirty girl. Or as the Uber would say: “Laura, EVERYTHING excites your inner dirty girl.”

True. Okay, here it goes:

1.) My uncle is unknown. I’m the black sheep of my family, so I know very few of my relatives. Actually, most of them have been warned away from me. Seriously. I’m supposed to be strange or something. Silly rumors. But what can you do? *wicked grin*

2.) Never in my life have I smoked a cigarette.

3.) When I was five I was delusionally happy. But I didn’t realize that until reality slam-dunked me when I was twelve. Ouch! I’ve been avoiding it ever since.

4.) High school was a BLAST!!!

5.) I will never forget losing my virginity, but I wish I could. Yeah, it was HIGHLY forgettable.

6.) Once I met my husband, my sex life improved drastically. Yay!

7.) There was a guy I dated in college who couldn’t have an orgasm. Yeah, it was fun, but after a while it was like ENOUGH ALREADY….JUST DO IT!!!

8.) Once, at a bar, I danced myself silly. Actually, I did it more than once. Actually, I did it all the time at any bar I went to and loved it.

9.) By noon I will have been on computer for six hours and still have two more hours to go before I finish answering all the emails from my readers/fans/friends for the day.

10.) Last night I thought about sex and groped my husband (as usual).

11.) If only I had known what I know now I would’ve had more fun. Although I probably would’ve gotten into waaaaaay more trouble than I did back then, so I can’t complain.

12.) Next time I go to church will be in September when I go to a wedding in Charleston. Luckily, only the parents of the groom know I’m a Wiccan Faery Witch, so there’s a good chance no one will freak. Too much. Or throw holy water at me. No, wait. That’s what they do to vampires, isn’t it? Okay, hold the holy water.

13.) What worries me most is nothing. You think I’m too simple to worry, don’t you? Yeah, you’re right.

14.) You know I’m lying ….well, lying isn’t my thing. Of course, I am a Southern Belle, so I will politely gloss over anything negative and do it with a smile on my face. Trust me. You’ll love it. I’m really good at it.

15.) What I miss most about the seventies is the fact that almost every guy had long hair back then. Now it’s a rare delight. Although we do have quite a few men with long hair in the Deep South (thank you, thank you, thank you!). So I’m not complaining. Too much.

16.) By this time next year I will have written more erotica novels and novellas. Plus, I’ll be even naughtier, lustier, and more wicked than I am now. And, yes, having a great time, as usual.

17.) A better name for me would be The Queen of Lust.

18.) I have a hard time understanding anything that doesn’t involve sex. Hey, I’m just being honest!

19.) You know I like you if I’m still breathing, because as the Uber says (while he rolls his eyes): “Laura likes everyone.” What? Is that a crime?!!!

20.) If I ever won an award the first person I would thank would be Bast, my Patron Goddess. Yeah, I’m Wiccan through and through.

21.) Take my advice, find a yummy guy, and fuck like monkeys for the rest of your life. Trust me. It’s a good strategy. I should know.

22.) A song I love but do not have is a Journey song. But I can’t remember the name of it, even though I’ve been listening to Journey and Steve Perry for three months now every day with no end in sight. His voice reallllllllly turns me on. Can you tell?

23.) My ideal breakfast is an organic cashew butter sandwich on whole wheat bread. Okay, I’m a vegetarian.

24.) If you visit my hometown from May-October you’ll run like crazy for the nearest air-conditioned building.

25.) Why won’t people stop enticing me with memes like this? I am supposed to be researching oral sex and BJs today for my novels. But my dirty girl is having too much fun with this meme instead. Argh!

26.) I’d stop my wedding for sex. No doubt about it. Even though my mother would probably freak, because she was kinda in charge of my wedding like moms are when you’re 22 years old.

27.) I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach (Is this disgusting or what?…Yeesh!…Who thought this one up, a cat?!!!)

28.) My favorite blonde is Donnie, my yummy hero from What Witches Want. He could fuck me any day. All day. Again, and again, and again, and….well, ya know.

29.) If I do anything well it’s obsess about sex. Did I already say that? I can’t remember. Oh, well…

30.) I can’t help but feel righteous indignation about not much of anything. I’m too busy obsessing about SEX.

31.) I usually cry when I’ve been drained by a psychic vampire. Yeah, I’m an Empath. I have to be careful around vamps. Where’s the holy water when you need it?!!

32.) My advice to my nephew is follow your heart. You thought I’d say “follow your cock,” didn’t you? Hey, I’m trying to be good here!

33.) And by the way you can’t beat GREAT SEX. Did I already say that? Oh, well…

Now I’m off to do the work I was supposed to be doing before I got sidetracked by this meme. That would be researching oral sex and great BJ techniques. Alrightyyyyy! *lusty smile*

xoxo
Laura Stamps ©
The Magickal SexWitch
Author of Paranormal Erotica & Romance Novels
(Witches, Shapeshifters, Vampires)
laura@laurastamps.com
To see all my novel series:
http://www.avampskiss.blogspot.com
My verrrrry naughty blog:
http://www.LauraStamps.com
My “Laura Stamps” Fan Page at Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/sexwitch
Follow me on Twitter at:
http://twitter.com/sexwitch

Laura’s Naughty Sex Shop is Here…Yay!!

Laura — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 13:00:23 +0000

Alex has created the most awesome new feature for my site. It’s called “Laura’s Naughty Sex Shop.”

Oh, yeah. It’s exactly what it sounds like. *kinky grin*

This is a store where you can find all the products I’ve recommended on this blog (and more!) in one, convenient place. My fav erotica and paranormal romance novels, sex toys & kink, trashy lingerie, nonfiction sex books, and groovin’ music to fuck by.

Is that cool or what?!

I always say I’m a simple slut, and it’s true. So Alex and I have been working hard to make it easy for my readers to go to one place on this website to find all the sexy stuff I’ve raved about in my blog posts and comments.

Trust me. You’re gonna love everything in this shop from the books to the CDs to the dongs to the sexy lingerie to the nipple clips, and much, much more!

To find it, just go to the button bar at the top of the homepage. Click on “Shop!” That will take you directly to “Laura’s Naughty Sex Shop.”

When you get there, you’ll see six categories listed on the right side of the store. Browse through them, and if you see something that interests you, click on the title of that item for more info. If you decide to buy it, all you gotta do is add it to your shopping cart. The entire store is powered by Amazon, so it’s simple, simple, simple. No wonder I love it.

Okay, readers, go forth and SHOP! Yeah, definitely one of this slut’s fav things to do… *addicted grin*

xoxo
Laura Stamps
Paranormal Erotica & Romance Novelist
(Witches, Shapeshifters, Vampires)
To read excerpts from my novels:
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com
Check out my verrrrry naughty blog:
http://www.LauraStamps.com
My “Laura Stamps” Fan Page at Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/sexwitch
Follow me on Twitter at:
http://twitter.com/sexwitch

I’m Such a Greedy Cunt

Laura — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 12:27:00 +0000

While Wes was slamming into me during our sex date on Sunday, I suddenly realized what a greedy cunt I am.

No, really. It’s true. Sex feels so good to me, I just want more and more of it. I never want it to end.

You know how some people say good sex scratches an "itch," meaning it satisfies that desire? Well, good sex satisfies me, too. No doubt about it. But in my case, rather than scratching that itch it just makes me "itchier" for more good sex.

This reminds me of something I told one of my cyber-sex guys this weekend about how I crave a man’s bod. I do. And when it comes to sex I feel the same way. I crave more and more and more and…well, ya know. *horny grin*

After we recovered from our sex date, I made an organic spinach pizza for dinner. Then we went for a drive to get Wes a strawberry milkshake (his reward for eating one of my vegetarian meals *LOL*).

Of course, I wore out the buttons on his radio, looking for classic rock tunes to groove to. And I found some awesome ones, too, by Uriah Heep, ZZ Top, Zep, and The Eagles (gotta love "Hotel California," ya know?).

But when a classic Journey song comes on I growl with lust. "I’d forgotten how horny Steve Perry’s voice makes me," I comment, while we’re waiting in line at Rush’s for his milkshake.

"How can you be horny?" he asks, staring at me incredulously. "You just had twelve orgasms two hours ago!"

"I’m perpetually horny," I respond, shrugging my shoulder and giving him a lusty look. "Wanna fuck some more?"

"No!" he exclaims, narrowing his eyes. "They make meds for that."

"Now why would I wanna be cured of horniness?" I reply, totally clueless. I mean, what a downer, right?

Just then "Slow Ride" by Foghat comes on the radio, and I completely forget what we’re talking about as I groove to the music. Love that song!!

"Hey, we should go dancing some time," I say, squeezing Wes’s thigh. "I wanna shake my ass to some classic rock sooooooo bad."

"You’ve already been shaking your ass today, darlin’," he replies.

"Where?"

"Between the sheets," he says, giving me a wolfish grin.

True. I did have twelve Os. But you know what? It just made me want more.

Yeah, I’m a greedy cunt alright. Like who doesn’t know that?! *horny grin*

xoxo
Laura Stamps (c)
Author of Erotica and Paranormal Romance Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (excerpts from all of my novels)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)

Hell, I Thought I Hid That Thing!!

Laura — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 12:23:00 +0000

When we got in the Uber’s car last night after dinner, I noticed the Journey CD sticking out of his CD player. Of course, I squealed with delight and shoved it in. The Uber looks up and grumbles, "Hell, I thought I hid that thing!" Okay, so he likes Steve Perry/Journey, but he’s not a RABID fan like I am. LOL

But that reminded me of something one of my Goodreads friends (Kim) said yesterday. She wondered if instead of singing "Oh, Sherry," the Uber tweaks the words and sings "Oh, Laura." He laughed when I told him that. He said, "Oh, no. This is your Journey theme song: Girl Can’t Help It, She Needs More!" Yeah, he got that right. *lusty grin*

Speaking of that, every time we tell one of our friends about the Uber landing in the hospital a few weeks ago with his heart racing (A-Fib), they immediately look at me and waggle their eyebrows suggestively. That happened again last night when Crystal found out about it. What’s up with that?! Hey, as you all know I was not wrapped around his body when that happened. In fact I wasn’t anywhere near him. He was on the golf course, ya know? Not my fault. Then they all tell me to go easy on him for a while. Nope. Can’t promise that. Sorry! *wicked grin*

That reminds me of something my dear friend Dan said yesterday in an email. He’s part of my "harem of men." Love those guys! Anyway, here’s what he said: "On sex: I am not sure if I have ever known a woman as oversexed as you, Miss Laura. I knew and dated teenage and college age girls who were pretty obsessed with sex. But you have a comprehensive approach, LOL. I read the other day that something like 55% of women over 25 report a drop in sexual desire and/or a problem achieving orgasm. I wonder if you have any ideas about this? I wonder if you could market this in a book like Sex tips for growing your desire and performance – by the renowned erotica author, Laura Stamps. Add some magick to it maybe. Anyway, I’d buy it."

Hmm. Interesting thought. I just might do that. *naughty grin*

Speaking of my harem of men, they have been verrrrry active in the last week. We’ve had lots of fun, sexy email chats. This is from Dave: "You should be flattered – you are drop dead gorgeous, and kinky and adventurous, a man’s dream. I have traveled all over the world and seen lots of eye-candy, but in all my travels, nothing I have ever seen comes near to being as hot as YOU!!! You are awesome!! Love it – and you ARE every man’s wet dream, a classic. I get turned on just writing to you (don’t know how you do it). Don’t know how you get any work done. You are cockalicious. Very tasty!!"

Cockalicious. Dear Goddess, don’t you love that word?! Thanks, Dave! Hey, this post is kinda like being a voyeur fly on the wall of my office or "Welcome to the Daily Life of Laura Stamps." Now you know one of the reasons why I stay HOT. Yeah, the men in my life are awesome. Love those guys!

xoxo
Laura Stamps (c)
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)

Whatever it Takes to Keep My Wife Horny

Laura — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 13:04:00 +0000

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while you know classic Journey songs with Steve Perry drive my libido to new heights (lusty grin). And you also know the Uber likes Journey, and he sings Journey songs to me occasionally. Here’s why.

We all know Journey is considered "chick music" by some men. So it came as no surprise when the Uber told me his buddies make fun of him every time he plays a Journey song on the jukebox at the bar he goes to after work.

When he told me that, I askedhim what he says when they give him a hard time. He replied, "I tell them they’re idiots. I like Journey with Steve Perry. Plus, it makes my wife horny. End of conversation." Sounds just like an Uber, doesn’t it? ROFL

Then he tells me there is a guy on talk radio who also slams Journey as chick music. Last night the Uber says, "I ought to call in one day and tell him my name, and that I’m 6′2", weight 240 pounds, and I like Journey." I smile and reply, "If he asks why, would you tell him it’s because Journey makes your wife horny?" He gives me an Uber grin and says, "I might."

"What if he makes fun of you for liking Journey because I do?" I tease. The Uber snorts and replies, "Who cares what he thinks? Whatever makes you horny makes me a happy man."

And there you have it. Now you know why the Uber feeds my Journey addiction. I mean, there’s a Journey CD in my car and the same CD in his car and a DVD of Journey concert clips and music videos in the house. I’m surrounded by Journey and Steve Perry all day long. And it’s definitely one of the reasons why I’m so horny 24/7. Is the Uber a smart guy or what? *naughty smile*

Speaking of the Uber, he has an appointment with the heart doctor this afternoon. She wants to run some tests on him, so they can figure out how he ended up in the hospital with atrial fibrillation last week (hey, not my fault! *LOL*).

He also has a bunch of questions he wants to ask the doctor. You can bet I added some questions to the list he’s bringing with him. And you guessed it. They all have to do with sex. Mostly, I want to know how far I can push him sexually without putting him back in the hospital.

See? I can be a good girl. Sometimes. *wicked grin*

I Am Sooooooo Addicted to Steve Perry!! sigh

Laura — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 12:54:00 +0000

The Uber finally remembered how to work the DVD playerlast weekend. When he had knee surgery two years ago he hooked everything up to one universal control thingy he bought at Radio Shack, which I have never been able to use because it won’t work for me. Plus, there’s a trick to using the DVD player with it. So I’m totally clueless when it comes to this particular techno-wonder.

We used to watch hundreds of movies every year. Love them all, from the old movies of the 30s and 40s to the new ones. But when I became addicted to erotica novels, we stopped watching movies at night because I’d rather read. So it’s been forever since we watched a DVD. In fact, the last two DVDs we saw (sometime last year) were not movies. They were concert DVDs of the best of Jethro Tull and The Eagles Reunion Tour (both awesome, BTW).

Bummer, because last month I found a Journey DVD at Target marked down to $9.99. Can you say EXCITED!! Yeah, I snapped that baby up (grin). Well, last Saturday the Uber finally remembered how to use the DVD player with the universal thingy. And while I watched the Journey DVD, he left for the golf course. That’s right. He left me alone in the house with over an hour of Steve Perry on DVD. What was he thinking?!! No wonder I was insatiable later on that afternoon when we had our sex date (see my blog post "Oh, Baby!"). *lusty grin*

Since the Uber is recovering from his heart thing this week, he was around the house more than usual this weekend, so I got him to watch the Journey DVD with me. And he loved it. He’s also a Journey fan (just not totally RABID like I am), and he often sings Journey songs to me in the car or in the shower.

It really is an awesome DVD. Packed with concert footage and music videos of most of Journey’s hits with Steve Perry from 1978-1996. And I have to say the music video from 1996 blew me away. Perry was 47 then, his hair was down to his waist (I kid you not!), and his voice was as amazing as ever. I’ve heard even though he turned 59 this year he still sounds just like he did in his 30s, and that DVD certainly proves that rumor.

Yeah, I was one big puddle of lust by the end of that DVD. Whew! I have to fan myself just thinking about how yummy Perry looked and how wonderful he sounded. It goes without saying, if you love Journey and Steve Perry I highly rec this DVD.

Speaking of gorgeous guys, the Uber is looking miiiiiiighty fine these days. The new heart diet is having a glorious effect on his bod, which is looking yummier than ever. He’s already lost five pounds off his belly, and with only fifteen more to go he’ll have his flat stomach back in no time. YOWZA! He took my breath away several times yesterday. I kept noticing how handsome he is. I know he looks good in pics, but his personality is very charismatic, so he looks even more handsome in person. Yeah, I have lots of charisma too, but mine just makes me look more wicked in person and encourages everyone around me to be naughtier. LOL

Anyway, as you know, it’s always been a struggle for me to keep from jumping his bones 24/7. Now with this new buff bod of his, I’m in serious trouble. Or, I should say, he is. Count on it. *wicked grin*

Going Orgasmic (like that’s a surprise grin)

Laura — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 13:29:00 +0000

First, let me say I am aware I haven’t mentioned much about my books in the last week or so. That doesn’t mean I’m not working/writing. I am. Really. I’m just chin-deep at the moment in the final edits on my latest erotica novella The Harvest Moon. Very exciting stuff for a novelist, but not for readers, so I have been sparing you the juicy details. And as I am writing this post, I am printing out the edited copy of Call of the Witches: Book Three of the Witchery Series. Yay! My editor and I will be finishing final edits on that book this week, and then my publisher will be sending it off to the printer, so it can hit stores later this month. Okay, that’s my writing update for those of you with inquiring minds (and I know who you are *big smile*).

OMGoddess!!! I had a shopping orgasm yesterday. I kid you not. I have a few fav stores. KMart is one (90% of my wardrobe comes from KMart…who knows why?…they just seem to have clothes/shoes that always look good on me). Target is another. I LOVE Target!! I know I need supervision when I set foot in Target, so I limit my trips and build up a big shopping list before I go (usually every 2-3 months). Yesterday was one of those days. I won’t tell you how much I bought (the fact that my Uber shrieked like a banshee when he saw the receipt will give you some idea *grin*). But I have to tell you about two of those things.

I was cruising the music department and freaked when I discovered they had marked down Journey’s Great Hits CD to $9.98. AWESOME! So I snapped that baby up. I have been going through Journey withdrawal whenever I’m in my husband’s car, because all he has is the solo album by Steve Perry. I’ve been wanting to buy the Greatest Hits CD for his car as well, since that CD is NEVER leaving my car as long as I am still breathing (wicked grin). Then I’m cruising the end racks on my way out of the music department and found a DVD of concert footage from Journey’s greatest hits marked down to $9.98. OMGoddess!! Gotta have that one too!

I was in such a good mood when I left Target that I decided to run by Dillard’s at the mall. And this is entirely your fault, BTW. I have become totally hooked on sexy lingerie (it’s such fuuuuun!). Yes, you created a monster when you convinced me of the joys of sexy lingerie. Anyway, I am completely addicted to the 75% off lingerie rack at Dillard’s. Who can resist, right? Designer quality lingerie regularly priced as high as $130 now marked down as low as $9.50. Yes, there is a Goddess, and she obviously loves designer lingerie, because she makes sure new items are marked down and added to that rack every week. Love it!

I found a sinfully decadent black babydoll in fishnet (who knew that stuff was so soft?!) marked down from $50 to $12. Yup, snapped that one up, too. Can’t wait to spring it on my Uber this weekend. I have to say the sizing in designer lingerie is a hoot. I wear a Large in women’s shirts, because my bra size is 38-B. However in babydolls I can wear anything from a Medium to a Small. Crazy, I know. A Large in lingerie is so big it falls right over my hips and…whoosh!…hits the floor. I know. Not a bad thing in the heat of passion, but still… However the fishnet number I bought yesterday was an XL. Had to be the smallest XL ever, and it fit me perfectly. No wonder it was on sale. It was the same size as a Medium or a Small in other brands.

Anyway, those are the highlights from my shopping trip. Okay, I didn’t mention the pack of twenty plastic hangers in three shades of pink I also bought at Target for $2.99 (I was sooooo excited…you know how nutso I go over anything pink, and I love plastic hangers). No wonder I was orgasmic by the time Igot back to my office. All I can say is every day I thank my lucky stars I’m a woman. When it comes to shopping, we ROCK!!

When You Least Expect It….

Laura — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 12:52:00 +0000

Guess what? Looks like I only had to go six days without sex rather than ten. No kidding. We went out to dinner on Saturday night as usual. My Uber’s nose had stopped dripping, but he was still sneezing. While we were eating he mentioned we would probably have to wait until next week before we could resume our playtime activities, because he was still congested and didn’t feel so great.

When we came home, I stayed outside talking to my neighbor for a while about one of my ferals I’m feeding in her yard. Then I went into the house to tell my husband about the cat, and we started talking about my neighbor and my ferals. Suddenly, he grabs me and kisses me. Hot. Hard. And thoroughly. The next thing I know he’s pulling off my shirt, and it goes flying across the room. Then my bra. And I’m thinking ALRIGHTYYYY!!! Oh, how I love to have my bones jumped! *lusty grin*

I still don’t know exactly how it happened. I do know he mentioned at least ten times before, during, and after dinner how nice I looked. But, hey, I was just wearing the same stuff I always wear out to dinner that he’s seen a million time before (jeans, boots, and one of my girlie shirts). Come to think of it, he did slip in the Steve Perry CD when he was driving home. I know I’m an incorrigible minx, but I swear I didn’t do anything to encourage him. No flirting, no groping, no kisses (hadn’t been able to do that since his allergy attack either….Ugh!!!). I’ve just been trying to be a good girl (no, really!) and let him recover.

All I can say is my Saturday was SMOKING HOT! Now that it’s Monday and my Uber is on the road to recovery, I’m looking forward to round 2, and round 3, and round 4, and….ya know. *naughty grin*

Hope your weekend was a lusty one too!

I’ve Become a Lust Bunny….Oh, no!! naughty grin

Laura — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 12:47:00 +0000

First, I want to tell everyone to take a look at the comments from yesterday’s post. Ja’niece did more of her photoshop magic and gave Wynn a pentacle necklace. YOWZA! That man is hot! So check it out when you get a chance. Ja’niece is AWESOME!!!

Remember a few days ago when I said I’d been driving back to my office, listening to Journey, and Steve Perry had made me so horny all I could think about was jumping my husband? Then when I turned down my street my husband was driving the other way, and he stopped his car to talk to me in the middle of the street. It was like, whoa, instant gratification! But my mind was so lustified I couldn’t think of a single thing to say to him, so I just smiled like a goofball (hmm….no wonder he thinks I’m crazy).

Well, it happened again yesterday. I kid you not. In my defense I have to say it’s not a wise move to expect coherent conversation from me around 2:00 in the afternoon. By then I’ve been on computer for almost eight hours, answering emails from readers/fans/friends and from my publishers/editors, as well as working on my latest novel, and putting out any fires for the day. I wouldn’t say my brain is mush (that would be me at 5:00pm), but I am a little spacey.

My husband left yesterday for a golfing trip to Edisto Island. He surprised me by calling around 2:00pm (he usually calls after dinner when he’s out of town). I was working on Chapter 2 of The Harvest Moon and answering emails from two poet friends of mine, so my brain was kinda fragmented. Anyway, when my husband called and asked me how my day had been so far I couldn’t think of a single thing to say. My mind went blank. Why? Because I was suddenly overcome with a huge jolt of lust, and all I could think about was jumping his bones. Dear Goddess, I didn’t even have Steve Perry to use as an excuse this time!

Needless to say, it was a rather one-sided conversation (again), because I never could get my lust under control. I do remember him mentioning something about me being crazy. I’m kinda used to that, so I ignored it like I always do. But what I’m not used to is being so consumed with lust that my mind goes blank during a conversation with him. I guess this means I’ve finally become a lust bunny. Those bunny slippers of mine must be permanently attached to my feet now, because even the sound of his voice over the phone makes me want to run off into the sunset and have wild rabbit sex with him. Yeesh, I’m a mess!

And it’s not like I wasn’t prepared for this latest trip of his. When we were having dinner Tuesday night at Copper River I told him he had to “service me” before he left, which meant that night or Wednesday night. He said,”You can’t just wait until Saturday?” We had mind-blowing sex this weekend (my LJ blog post “Overdosing on Orgasms…Who knew?”). So that was the last time, and here it was Tuesday night….3 days later. Duh. So I didn’t answer him. I just looked at him like that was the dumbest question I had ever heard. He knows that look. So he said, “Okay, we’ll do it tonight.” And we did. But obviously that isn’t enough for a lust bunny, was it?

Yikes! He already thinks I’m crazy. I can only imagine what he’ll do when he finds out I’ve become a lust bunny. He’ll probably run for his life. Or threaten me with Viagra. Again. So this will have to be our little secret until I come up with a plan. Okay, I’m hopping right on it…. *wicked grin*

xoxo
Laura Stamps
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)

Those Horny Little Brain Cells of Mine…(shakes my head)

Laura — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 12:52:00 +0000

I totally freaked in the shower Sunday morning. I blame it on the fact that my missing brain cells have not returned from their vacation at the beach yet. From what I hear those horny little critters spotted a yummy guy with long black hair and narrow hips. Yup, he even has a pair of black leather pants he wears when he goes out at night. They’ve been following him around like a pack of eager puppies ever since. Oh, well, I can’t blame them. I mean, they are MY brain cells after all. I’d do the same thing (and have before), and we all know it. *naughty grin*

Anyway, back to my panic attack in the shower. Yes, in case you’re wondering, I did scream. No, my husband didn’t hear it and freak, too. It happened because I have so much going on in September that for the last week I actually thought it was September. On Saturday I thought I’d completely forgotten someone’s birthday the first week of September. This is something I’ve never done before, so I’d quickly addressed a card to mail to that person. In the shower on Sunday I was thinking about my next booksigning on September 6 at Waldenbooks. That’s the first week of September, too. You know what that means. Eek!! I thought I had missed one of my own booksignings, thus the panic attack. Fortunately, sanity returned a few minutes later, and I realized it was only August. Now August has never been my fav month of the year, but it is now! I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy for it to be August. No kidding.

Gee, those brain cells of mine really need to return soon, ya know? Looks like I need them more than I thought. And if they bring Mr. Black Leather Pants back with them, hey, you’ll hear no complaints from me. Yowza! I guess it’s true what they say about acorns not falling far from the tree. Especially if the tree is as oversexed as I am. *lusty grin*

Speaking of black, the black Oscar de la Renta babydoll was a MAJOR hit on Friday night. My husband mentioned how much he liked it at least five times. Black is definitely his color in sexy lingerie. Nice to know I have a good excuse to buy more. Big fun!

And speaking of my husband, he was driving down our street yesterday morning when I was on my way back from my errands. We stopped and rolled down our car windows to talk for a minute. Kinda. He told me he had just finished lunch at his fav sub shop and had stopped by to check the mail. I’d been listening to Journey all morning (no surprise there), and Steve Perry had whipped me into such a horny frenzy all I could think about on my way back to my office was how in lust I am with my husband’s body. And then suddenly there he was in front of me. Sensory overload for sure. My brain was so clouded with lusty thoughts I couldn’t think of a single thing to say to him. Seriously. I just smiled at him like a crazy person when I realized all my remaining brain cells had gone south to the nether regions of my body. I did manage to blurt out I’d been thinking about him all morning. That put a big smile on his face. Of course if he knew EXACTLY what I’d been thinking about he would have driven away faster than he did when another car came down the street a few minutes later. Or he would have threatened me with Viagra. Again. All I can say is those brain cells of mine need to come home soon, or I’m going to get myself into all kinds of trouble. On the other hand, if it’s lusty trouble, that sounds good to me. Maybe I’ll just tell my vacationing brain cells to send me a postcard when they get a chance. And maybe a pic of Mr. Black Leather Pants. Now that’s a plan….. *wicked grin*

xoxo
(c) Laura Stamps
Author of Paranormal Romance and Erotica Novels
http://www.LauraStamps.blogspot.com (to read excerpts from my novel series)
http://laura-stamps8.livejournal.com (my naughty Author Blog/updated daily)